tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post2233159416780434033..comments2024-03-28T00:33:57.308-07:00Comments on Sociopath World: Mass manipulation (part 2)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger347125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-70250834629370849472011-11-20T11:58:20.749-08:002011-11-20T11:58:20.749-08:00Shizzle D man, at 2:40
that was actually good fu...Shizzle D man, at 2:40 <br /><br />that was actually good fun. I think Blake told me once that you have a knack for poetry and writing. <br /><br />I see he wasn't wrong. ;)Zhawqhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18149309325116416338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-48432208422069439402011-11-17T10:07:51.118-08:002011-11-17T10:07:51.118-08:00I'll start with my father.
He was raised by a...I'll start with my father.<br /><br />He was raised by a very strict Pentecostal woman, who was not very affectionate, and very weird about men and sex. His father was not very religious, and hated children. They had seven of them together, and my father was the youngest.<br /><br />My Grandfather was fairly sadistic. He loved to find shit the kids did wrong, so they could get a good beating for it. He loved to deprive them of anythings that might make them happy. Like being allowed to play with toys.<br />My Grandmother told me once, that she would make all the kids hide their toys before he got home.<br /><br />I didn't grow up with my mother. I think I've stated that numerous times. Even with you. I was raised my my father, and his parents. Primarily my Grandmother. <br /><br />He worshiped his father. No matter how cruel; my father would never speak an ill word about him. His mother on the other hand... he acted like she was worthless, even though she did everything for him.<br /><br />She was always a safety net for him. he was always in trouble, couldn't keep a job, and spent all his money frivolously when he did have it. In short; he was a total fuck up, who was smart enough, good looking enough, and charming enough, to get his foot in a lot of doors. But he was never steadfast... everything collapsing all around him as he laid all his foundations to waste... then packed up, and moved on.<br /><br />He was sadistic much like his own father, but believed he had a special seat at god's table. He was ordained a minister in several different denominations, and was kicked out of a handful of churches for questionable behavior, or sermons. He was a con. Being a minister was a guise to gain respect, money, and access to vulnerable young women... and children. <br /><br />Is that a better picture of him for you?Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-67258363229752183872011-11-17T06:22:28.580-08:002011-11-17T06:22:28.580-08:00@MK
If I have the time to dedicate more to the st...@MK<br /><br />If I have the time to dedicate more to the story... I will do so today. But I'm not pulling some kind of David out of my butt. My story with my father is shocking (to other people not me), and very complicated to tell (in my own mind), and so it takes time to sort out what I want to share, or to even know if I want to. That's why I leave the characters flat.<br /><br />To give you brutal detail; that's fairly sacred to me. Can you understand that? I'm not just giving you a slice of fucking around pie.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-8574695529559141612011-11-17T05:29:30.708-08:002011-11-17T05:29:30.708-08:00Anon 9:59
That was an incredible description. Than...Anon 9:59<br />That was an incredible description. Thank you.Monicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-15344807456995238752011-11-17T01:29:00.559-08:002011-11-17T01:29:00.559-08:00Was he always religious?Was he always religious?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-82517530430118265112011-11-17T01:27:51.224-08:002011-11-17T01:27:51.224-08:00It sounds like a complicated memory for all partie...It sounds like a complicated memory for all parties involved. And i have to wonder how much of it is fabricated. I've met people who've done that before with similar stories just to shock people. <br />I can't really give you much in lieu of insight unless your father is less flat. Right now, I can't understand him, as you've not really said anything about how he is, personally. It make sit difficult to believe in his existance as it sits because of how flat he is. Can you tell us a bit about what he's like? Or your sister, too. She's also currently I complex from what I remember about her. Strung out on what? Did you drink together at all, or just not the bones farm? You said she lives in the past in that she's always comparing children to good sides of the family, but what else is she like? What is your mother like. Do you know them well, or do they confuse you still as well? Is that why you convey them so narrowly?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-67615367784063526772011-11-16T22:34:58.019-08:002011-11-16T22:34:58.019-08:00I got to get back to youedenI got to get back to youedenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-56110396638292493662011-11-16T22:25:50.363-08:002011-11-16T22:25:50.363-08:00I'm off to bed now. Thanks for the chat. I do ...I'm off to bed now. Thanks for the chat. I do appreciate all the different perspectives here, with the exclusion of the anons... of course.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-14160752262574566062011-11-16T22:23:17.427-08:002011-11-16T22:23:17.427-08:00Yeah. The whys of my father's behavior always ...Yeah. The whys of my father's behavior always eluded me. But being here has helped me see him better. I can now revise my manuscript with a better understanding of what really happened to us. It's important to me because I can't attach my feelings to it.<br />Lucky to have a memory that retains so much detail otherwise.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-53570603952293920512011-11-16T22:15:05.368-08:002011-11-16T22:15:05.368-08:00Sounds like the Jim Jones version of the shaman.Sounds like the Jim Jones version of the shaman.Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-69150724525910721742011-11-16T22:12:53.297-08:002011-11-16T22:12:53.297-08:00He was drafted into the Army, to serve during Viet...He was drafted into the Army, to serve during Vietnam... but got himself kicked out. No. Not OCD... and I wouldn't exactly call him paranoid either.... He would just go through these phases where he wanted to be the ultimate holy man, and my sister and I were too tainted to fit into this perfect "holy family" image he had, because he had defiled us.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-900057956087737042011-11-16T22:06:47.452-08:002011-11-16T22:06:47.452-08:00I will never understand people who come in here tr...I will never understand people who come in here trying to tell us what a sociopath is and lists the symptoms as if we have no fucking clue and have never heard the word before. Makes no sense at all.<br /><br />And they usually repeat the same tired cliched tropes and moral judgments along with it.Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-39159416541019580252011-11-16T22:03:05.728-08:002011-11-16T22:03:05.728-08:00That's fucked.
Was he OCD? Or a paranoid?
Wa...That's fucked.<br /><br />Was he OCD? Or a paranoid?<br /><br />Was he a military man, by chance?Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-65155385373657733382011-11-16T22:00:13.372-08:002011-11-16T22:00:13.372-08:00"Now that I think of it, I think she decided ..."Now that I think of it, I think she decided it must have been me in some weird attempt at intimacy, to not be alone in her abuse"<br /><br />Ya. My sister does that. Her doctor explained that it's part of her DID. He says she sometimes places people in a memory who weren't there, to make it feel more safe.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-36329431933137668322011-11-16T21:59:52.008-08:002011-11-16T21:59:52.008-08:00The thing most of us a call a conscience is simply...The thing most of us a call a conscience is simply missing in sociopaths and no one knows why although there are many theories.<br /><br />The word “guilt” to them is simply an abstraction. They have no clue what the word actually means since they feel no guilt. To a sociopath, being asked to explain guilt from a personal, emotional level would be like someone trying to explain what Tai food tastes like - from a visceral, heavenly delight level - when they had never tasted Tai food. No can do.<br /><br />Sociopaths, although they learn early in life to act like human beings and mimic our behaviors in order to get by in modern life (read a bit about the late serial killer Ted Bundy and you’ll learn how good they are at that game) sociopaths are not true human beings in the sense that they lack the very key elements that make us human and separate us from lower animal forms.<br /><br />For a sociopath the only important thing is satisfying whatever urges the sociopath has at the moment: money (stealing it from a till or relative, doing a white collar mortgage scam or schmoozzing and charming a little old lady (or man) and conning her/him out of all her/his money) torturing others, rape, murder, kidnapping, mutilations what have you. The list of things they get off on a doing is endless.<br /><br />That is why raping and murdering a human being and dumping a body in the woods somewhere is no more or less to the sociopath than enjoying a satisfying meal at a fine restaurant.<br /><br />They did the deed, it felt good and now it is time to go home and go beddy-by ni-night.<br /><br />Human beings to the true sociopath are simply “objects” to be manipulated. Like tin cans or boulders or a frozen microwave dinner. Human beings hold no sacred ground for sociopaths.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86101312710652232842011-11-16T21:55:49.599-08:002011-11-16T21:55:49.599-08:00Yeah. I get where you're coming from. Sometime...Yeah. I get where you're coming from. Sometimes I feel like even the bad shit isn't bad enough. She likes it to be even worse. That's why she prefers to believe what he told her. <br /><br />My father used to tell me over and over, that I had a bad memory. I have a very good memory actually.<br /><br />As for the my father, and my sex life... I'm very lucky. I've always known I could have ended up so much worse. I could have ended up like her.<br /><br />My father wasn't just bizarre in that one area. It was all areas. Like, one time he shaved all his hair off in the middle of the night... made us robes out of wool Army blankets, and told us we were no longer allowed to talk when we were home.<br />Every day for about a month, I had to come home from school... put on my robe... do my homework... eat... and then sit in silence for the rest of the day and night.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-63279721868124640272011-11-16T21:52:15.055-08:002011-11-16T21:52:15.055-08:00Now that I think of it, I think she decided it mus...Now that I think of it, I think she decided it must have been me in some weird attempt at intimacy, to not be alone in her abuse, proven by the fact that when I displayed the opposite of intimacy for a moment (in her subconscious mind, anyway) she decided I wasn't molested.<br /><br />Last time I asked her about all the sexual abuse she suffered, which was about 6 years ago, she said that it was likely that she made it all up.<br /><br />Not sure if that was true or if she decided to repress and move past it.Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-14799855896299332802011-11-16T21:46:31.702-08:002011-11-16T21:46:31.702-08:00Growing up, behind the elementary I attended, was ...Growing up, behind the elementary I attended, was a parked RV that was known to house a pedophile/molester. This was about a block from house, on the way home. Might have just been a kid's rumor, but I think is was eventually proven to be true, and the RV eventually disappeared.<br /><br />She was molested/raped by a myriad of folks growing up, classic waify victim type (though now she's a philanthropist with wealthy husband, a boy and a girl, a dog and a cat, the boring American dream, good for her), one of whom she claimed was this guy. She said he took her and the friend she was with, who had two braids, which I always wore (I got beat if I took them out), into the RV and did stuff.<br /><br />She said she always wondered if that girl was me, but she was never sure. I have no memory of any such thing.<br /><br />Funnily, she used it against me once. We had some fight about something, as she was all "It must not have been you!" as if you had to have been molested to be in the special people club.<br /><br />Sorry to make it about me, but I don't really have anything to say except to give you a semi-related story.<br /><br />But that shit about him naked and you not allowed to wear panties... WTF. It's no wonder your sex life was so weird and fucked up.Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-20287710734323338202011-11-16T21:24:07.231-08:002011-11-16T21:24:07.231-08:00anyway... she's not speaking to me right now. ...anyway... she's not speaking to me right now. Which isn't exactly a bad thing, I just don't understand why it's better for her, that she believe his version over mine? Why am i being punished for having the version with the least amount of physical contact?<br /><br />She's never going to remember what happened the right way... why not just go on believing his version didn't happen... and he was just fucking with her.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-27023121004201432602011-11-16T21:16:37.298-08:002011-11-16T21:16:37.298-08:00Well, let's say the addition was extreme enoug...Well, let's say the addition was extreme enough that I would have remembered. The difference between a guy just rubbing your clit, and him going down on you.<br /><br />I remember the details right down to what position he was sitting on the bed... and where she was sitting. He was reading us Little House on the Prairie an hour before. Before that, we had taken our baths. We were going to church the next day, so it was on a Saturday. He only let us take baths on Saturdays.<br /><br />He read to us in the nude. We were allowed our night gowns, but no panties....<br /><br />Sound like I remember things well enough, to know whether or not my father ate me out that night?Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-54561507209364866922011-11-16T20:50:45.663-08:002011-11-16T20:50:45.663-08:00Maybe all of you have distorted memories. That'...Maybe all of you have distorted memories. That's entirely possible.<br /><br />Not enough details about the actual incident to really say anything useful, but it's possible that someone can confuse old memories with old fantasies and obsessions or even old fears instead... I dunno.Mɵᴅʊsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13217438537249025614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-56661000046829888572011-11-16T20:45:21.412-08:002011-11-16T20:45:21.412-08:00A few weeks ago I pulled something in my back. my ...A few weeks ago I pulled something in my back. my crazy sister found out, and showed up at 11 P.M. with her massage table, an Enya CD, and some Boone's Farm; saying, "Remember how we used to drink this all the time together?"<br />We never did. <br /><br />She insisted on giving me this 2 hr massage, and I could tell she was strung out, but I agreed. <br /><br />After the first hour she decided to take a break, drink some Boone's, and "talk to me about something." <br />As I've said before, her and my mother dwell almost exclusively on the past. <br /><br />She tells me that she suddenly had a memory surface that was fuzzy, and she called our father to clear it up. Why she would call him about any past memories is beyond me, but...<br />He asks her to tell him what she remembers and then he'd fill in the blanks.<br /><br />It's a memory I actually wrote about in my memoir. She tells me what she remembers, then asks me to tell her what I remember.<br /><br />It's pretty disturbing and graffiti, so I'll just say it has to do with demonstrating masturbation. I told her what I remember. Now, I know our brains record things different from person to person, but I firmly believe mine is the most accurate if put against my father's. <br />She told me his version, and it really threw me for a loop... which is really hard to do.<br /><br />He added something to the story, that never happened. Not only will this be the first time he didn't deny sexual abuse, but it was almost as if he were adding a fantasy he had of us, instead of the truth, because she told him upfront that her memory was so fuzzy.<br /><br />When I told her he was probably using her distorted memory as an opportunity to share his fantasy, and not what really happened...<br />she got really angry at me, and told me that maybe I wasn't considering that I had blocked it out.<br /><br />I don't think I blocked anything out. I think he was using her. He has never admitted any wrong doing before... so what else could his motives be?Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332209662518792285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-57566452461390260402011-11-16T20:38:38.334-08:002011-11-16T20:38:38.334-08:00NO, some woman should NEVER be mothers, ...NO, some woman should NEVER be mothers, ever, ever, ever!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-41470471826810588962011-11-16T20:35:54.673-08:002011-11-16T20:35:54.673-08:00I think all women have a nurturing side. Even thos...I think all women have a nurturing side. Even those selfish women who have kids for the company, like its a testament to them. They're shitty mothers, but still have a nurturing side.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-640412309048452922011-11-16T20:31:41.403-08:002011-11-16T20:31:41.403-08:00admittedly, my dog talks way too much. He has atte...admittedly, my dog talks way too much. He has attention issues. I mishandled distance when he was younger so he has to always be by my side. Or he whines whines whines. He's taught me that I can be too inattentive, though, and that I need to fix that before I have kids so they aren't as needy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com