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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Personal resilience

I really enjoyed this comment from the previous post, particularly this analogy to a sore tooth:

Sociopaths love power. When you (even in the context of healthy boundaries) say "ouch" it's kind of like announcing a sore tooth to a tongue. For reasons unknown to all of us, when a tooth is sore, we feel compelled to continue prodding that tooth until the soreness is somehow resolved. A sociopath is like the tongue here- compelled to nudge and explore for pain almost reflexively. 
***
When you have figured out the genesis of the sore tooth within yourself then you can seek a more appropriate outlet for resolving what is making you feel sore, rather than alerting your tongue to a situation it is not equipped to heal, only to antagonize. 

Paradoxically, your withdrawal makes you ten time more desirable to the sociopath and they will do whatever they can to re- engage with you (if you were actually as desirable to them as you led yourself to believe). 

If they don't chase after you, maybe you were simply ensnared by their flattery (no shame in that, just see it for what it is). More flattery won't make you feel better. Just addicted and then the sociopath will begin to feel your hunger for a certain sort of feedback and will be transformed into the tongue that can not leave the poor sore tooth alone. 

So you have a sore tooth. Know it, own it, and heal. It's not the sociopath's job to be part of the process. On the other side, the sociopath may be there or they may not. But you have solved your problem without making the sociopath responsible for your pain. This exercise will increase your personal power in all future actions immeasurably.

But I think this analogy has broader applications beyond relationships to sociopaths and to relationships or interactions with anyone -- this almost compulsive need to want to keep poking, keep probing, and in the analogy the involvement of another person, trying to come to some sort of solution or understanding with another person. The whole process doesn't seem overtly harmful or negative, and it's so easy to justify to ourselves as just exploring the pain we feel, perhaps identifying the pain. But even when that happens, why is it that we seldom feel any sense of relief at that knowledge but perhaps an even more heightened obsession and focus on the problem that only serves to magnify the pain and discomfort. Or maybe this is just what I tend to do... :)

I feel like this is related -- I have noticed a western societal trend (that has probably always been there but is perhaps being accentuated in my mind due to my own personal change) from an internal locus of control attitude to an external one. Pieces of "evidence" I see for it include the reactions to the student protests of this fall, such as this NY Times piece arguing that calls for students to become more resilient are really attempts to sweep injustice under the rug and shame the victims. But becoming resilient is not (necessarily) merely a necessary evil that society would rather force on select individuals rather than addressing underlying problems. It is a universal principle that helps everyone to a more satisfying life, from the highest to the lowest of the global socioeconomic classes, from the most privileged to the least, in every aspect of life.

Resilience, they way I think it is being used in these contexts, is the ability to self-regulate one's internal sense of well-being despite obstacles or aggravations present in one's environment. And everybody wants more of it. The number one trait people seem to envy about sociopaths is the ability to remain so unaffected by what others think of them or the fearful or stressful things of life. Isn't this a type of resilience?

The alternative to internal self-regulation is to try to enforce your standards and conditions for happiness on everyone else and the entire outside world. I too would like it if my boss never made me his personal scapegoat. I too would like it if loved ones never did anything insensitive or unkind or if there was no such thing as sexism or senseless violence or a bad day in the stock market or any cavities in my teeth. I know some of you put cavities in a different category of things that I supposedly can control (I have unusually thin enamel, hardly ever eat sugar, and floss religiously, so I don't know how that works out in formula of personal accountability) and someone perpetrating a crime of violence against you is in a polar opposite category of things you can't control. And some people probably think I am ignorant or shameful to deign to include them all in the same category. And I have no desire to suggest that these harms are equal or related or that is not more worthy of moral reprehension than another -- I'm not making any attempts to whitewash or sweep things under the rug, but...

And this is possibly the best life tip that I can give you from my sociopathic heart, if you look at either the teeth or the victim of violent crime situations from a purely utilitarian viewpoint that is focused less on some abstract concept of justice and more on pure self-interest of what is ultimately best for you, I think that you will find that treating them both (and any) situations with an internal locus of control focus will result in more personal peace, joy, and happiness to you than to ever need to seek someone's complicity, cooperation, reciprocity, shame, guilt, or acknowledgment of your hurt (particularly someone who is otherwise unwilling to do so) in order for you to feel better.

I understand the logic of the external locus of control mentality. If someone hurts you, and if they could only stop hurting you, you could stop being hurt. But if you can develop coping strategies for your teeth problems or your diabetes or your cancer or your other perpetratorless act of nature type harms, you should be able to do likewise for your issues that come from the misdeeds or shortcomings of people. And in resolving them independently without the need for others or the world to adjust or fix itself before you can be ok again just streamlines the efficiency of the process and is likely more efficacious because you don't have to worry about enforcing your rules on others. (Not to say that people shouldn't have boundaries, obviously they should. But if people respecting and adhering to your boundaries 100% is the only that you can feel ok in the world, then that is a precarious position to be in.)

This is already way too long, but I feel like I have not done a good enough job representing how useful the trait of resilience is, so a quick story that I also feel is related somehow. This morning as I was sitting on a bench in a public place, a man dressed as a monk came up to me and shook me down for a donation to some far away temple that was allegedly being restored. I gave him money, as I always do when asked (I don't really have an attachment or any feeling toward money itself, only to what the acquisition or lack of money can sometimes represent, so I always do give money out of politeness). The other people he accosted after me refused him. Maybe they didn't have money, or maybe they weren't interested in his temple or opposed his religious beliefs or something, but I wondered if some of them didn't give because they were worried about being scammed. I thought to myself, I do not experience any psychic or emotional harm in being scammed, at least not like this. And I felt very fortunate for that.

179 comments:

  1. Excellent post-as always, ME has hit the nail on the head. Resilience, the he ability to regulate one's internal sense of well-being despite obstacles, is an envious trait. Imagine how much easier life would be with this handy little tool readily available in your mental toolbox!

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  2. I can't prove this to you but I know you'll know it yourself one day. There's a category of people that will say exactly what you say (in your book and here), outwardly do what you do and how you do, and explain it away as sociopathy exactly as you do. However, their intention is the exact opposite: they want to justify destructive behavior because they want to be accepted, normalized and spread - NOT merely to be understood. These people have NO actual history of abuse of any kind. They likely have "had it all" relative to their peers. You are resilient because you are actually trying to help yourself in overcoming this condition - psychos are only "resilient" in one thing only: chasing their targets and thereby satiating their sinister cravings by destroying innocent lives.

    There's nothing the "sore tooth" analogy says that anyone - empath or sociopath - with an ounce of intelligence doesn't know. It's not about resilience or not relying on others to heal you. I got uncontrollably obsessed with HOW & WHY a human being could be so utterly callous that they can't give you 2 minutes of "heart to heart" when they've known you since you were born and know how much you love them, have endured in life and have sacrificed for them. I couldn't see it as "different" anymore. This is WAY too different and I needed to understand otherwise I have no idea who / what to believe anymore.

    I can't explain without giving a novel worth of details which will bore you away. I hope this analogy helps somewhat:

    You mention in your book your younger brother - the one who takes it all and never complains. You felt he needed to be protected. IDK if you "owe" him anything but imagine he went well out of his way for years to help you - at his expense - with your troubles without you asking for it and often even realizing it. He never asks for anything in return because he does it all out of love and familial obligation. Now imagine he fell in love and you somehow - knowingly or unknowingly - gave a false impression of him to his fiance causing her to leave. Your brother is devistated enough but imagine how much more it will hurt him to know YOU - whether you meant it or not - were responsible. For a fleeting moment he may hate your guts to the point of even wanting you dead. He says some horrible things to you but doesn't harm you in other way. In the end all he does is sob to you because he has no one else and asks you again and again to just tell WHAT EXACTLY you said to his ex that made her walk away without even saying goodbye. He needs to know the details to find closure. Even after seeing his pitiful condition you say: just move on nothing happened. When he doesn't move on, you start doing more to harm him. He may be the most resilient guy on earth but he can't just move on knowing YOU did what you did and stay the same person. He'll have to sell his soul - his entire being, his principles, his identity because his crippled and has no one who either believes him or is willing to understand him.

    You see I sometimes complain about a sociopath friend who betrayed me. What he did was wrong - very wrong - but I would have never got myself into such a situation in the first place if it weren't for my own family. Even if I did I would have been resilient enough to overcome in a matter of a day or two at most. But I was like that brother of yours I describe. I criticise my friend because regardless of my situation, he was still wrong - the least he could have done was admit it and apologize. Nonetheless, he was an angel compared to the "evil sister" I described above.

    I wasn't venting - I'm 95% OK and in many ways FAR better because of all this. I want sociopaths who are sincere to learn whatever they can from our experiences.

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    1. It seems as though you expect us to have empathy. To care about your suffering and pain. However, that isn't possible. It makes no sense to me when people talk about "feeling others' emotional pain". It is an abstract, foreign thought.

      My first natural reaction is to say "get over yourself". Not out of being evil or sadistic...but because we don't understand.

      Now because you explained your feelings in relatively clear terms it is easier to understand you...but it will never be natural.

      -Sociopath

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    2. Yes sociopath that much is obvious to anyone who's looked up what "sociopath" means. No the real question is why can't you AT LEAST acknowledge and say "I'm sorry for everything but I'm just unable to show you empathy?" It's THIS evasion of responsibility for YOUR actions which hurts the most, NOT the wrong done. We are logical and actually rational people - those of us with intact hearts. We know the past can't be undone and the best option is to forgive and move on. But you don't want that - you screw with our minds after you cripple us so that were left in a dark limbo not knowing what went wrong. THAT is the evil part - not your unwillingness (not inability you all have "switches" which you use all the time) to SHOW empathy.

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    3. Your reply is a classic example of an empath that cannot understand someone like us.

      To say "I'm sorry" requires that we know we did something wrong. Many empaths simply say "You know what you did wrong [but I won't tell you]".

      The emotional pain that empaths experience is not obvious to us. And even when told...why should we care? We aren't affected by your pain in most circumstances. We are only affected by your actions. If I know an emotional response will cause my boss to fire me, I will take action to correct things, for example.

      Emotion is irrational. Your anger over sociopaths causes you to lash out as us. We are not responsible for your emotions. You yourself are responsible for keeping your emotions in check.

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    4. An empath only expects an apology when you DO something to hurt them. You may not have empathy or understand it but you know that something will piss off people (same things that would piss you off). It takes humility to say "I'm sorry" - not necessarily an acknowledgement.

      As for "but won't tell you" - this is a blanket lie. If any empath accuses you and does not tell you, they're either ignorant (think you're like them) or are sociopaths feigning being empaths. I would not hold even a psychopath responsible for anything (except the obvious) unless I let them know what exactly they did wrong.

      Again, it's important to note the key distinction: psychopath vs sociopath. The former lies nonstop and is certainly aware of what they did wrong. The latter may or may not be and will have trouble accepting responsibility even though deep down they might feel guilty.

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    5. I say sorry all the time when I THINK I could possibly be wrong - it doesn't hurt me and it makes most people appreciate it, and get a little better themselves. Psychos take advantage of such behavior. My philosophy: I won't sell my integrity even for protection against a tiny but dangerous minority.

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    6. What makes you think it even crosses our mind to say sorry? It often isn't even a consideration.

      This is a key difference between empaths and socios. You may think "oh, that may have been hurtful, maybe I should apologize". But we don't even consider that because we have no reason to.

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    7. Jonaid - Anonymous at 8:36, 12:32 and 12:53 is trying to tell you something that you don't yet understand - something which is actually anything but 'obvious to anyone who has looked up what "sociopath" means'. Re-read it.

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    8. Because you say it ALL the time when you need to for your agenda. Come across an "important" person that you need to impress: you know exactly when they're angry, when they're pissed, when they're happy etc etc and you behave accordingly.

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    9. We do not simply "know" just because the person is important to us. We make an effort to *learn*. As Anonymous @ 1:06 said, you do not yet understand, and you may never understand.

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    10. Jonaid - This is a real education that Anonymous at 1:30 is giving you. What they're saying is true. This is an opportunity to gain insight into something that non-sociopaths cannot understand - and could not even guess at - without this kind of explanation from someone who knows it firsthand. Re-read it all with as neutral a mind as possible.

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    11. Yes 1:30 that's correct. I assumed you were "rational" and understood what was apparent & implicit in my remark. I guess I should simplify and rephrase:

      You only care to know by leaning about people you want to manipulate and abuse. Then you realize immediately when they're happy, when they're sad, and when / what you should do. However, once you're *done* with them, you can care less if the same person comes to you with the same face, same behavior and same words which would have previously prompted you to behave so deceptively empathetic. Now that you have no use for them, you can't even bother feigning the empathy - you see them with disgust and discard them.

      Are we clear now?

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    12. There you go again, demonizing something you don't understand. Affective empathy doesnt automatically confer you moral superiority. When I am deceptively empathetic with someone, it may be to manipulate their emotions, but it is often just so that I can relate to them- not because I want to contemptuously use and discard them. Shallow affect is not something over which we have control. Our ACTIONS are what we can control. Just as there are good sociopaths, and bad ones. The man you call prophet was definitely a bad one. You vilify what you DON'T UNDERSTAND.

      Your judgment and rationality are clouded by your personal bias. You are an emotional wreck, Jonaid. You need help.

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    13. I attack only actions. Those that were intended warrant full criticism and correction. Those that weren't intended require correction. BOTH require acknowledgement and responsibility by whoever does the wrong action. To shirk responsibility because "you're different" opens the door for anyone to do anything. Besides, psychopaths only lie and use this as an excuse. The problem is there are "sociopaths" who label themselves as such who are NOT intending harm but have become dangerous because society / upbringing / genetic traits have forced turned them into monsters.

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    14. Excuse me?? You attack only actions?

      You have been calling me Minion for days! You have been dividing this blog into two camps: the empathetic saints who agree with you, and the LITERAL devils who don't.

      And now you backpedal....

      "Oooh Islam isn't necessary"

      "Genetic traits inadvertently change some sociopaths into monsters through no fault of their own"

      I thought that "sociopathy is a fluctuating state of mind", Jonaid.

      I thought psychos were demons who knowingly reject the truth without a history of abuse...

      I thought we were to blame for our choice to be psychopaths.

      What's the matter with your brain, Jihadi? What happened to your logic and rationality? You contradict yourself everywhere.

      And you said that sociopathy has rotted MY brain. Bahahaha!!

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    15. Sincere readers please don't let this person confuse you. All my posts are on this blog and start after Nov 12, 2015. If you care enough, read them instead of reading his caricatures and getting confused.

      Thank you.

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    16. Sophists just come here to satiate their ego and score points by winning some sort of "debate." They can't actually read and actually understand anything you say. What do I keep saying? Save yourself and your mind before you totally lose it.

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    17. We don't see the world as it is but as we are.

      You perfectly articulate your own characteristics in your slanders.

      You have endless energy, Jonaid. A is correct that you could be a force for good. But you are not. You jam and adhere to your own model and will drown out any reason, any beautiful voice that seeks the infinite.

      Sometimes water flows, sometimes it crashes. I crashed for a while as I fought for the openness of this blog, for a growing philosophy that synthesises in a broad account what I encounter of human understanding.

      But you are like the Werewolf:
      'I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me your enemies.'

      and you have made us your enemies.

      So I let this place go. Inaction will accomplish what action cannot. I let go here because time and place are immaterial to the infinite and my journey of growth will not be limited if you make this place JonaidWorld for a while. Have your day.

      The universe is vast and I seek it. My models expand to understand you. I hear and see Nana and all your interlocutors and I make space. The more I let go, the more I have.

      You destroyed this environment; I take the opportunity presented to flow, to find new avenues. In fighting for what I cherished here, I found more of myself, hear more of myself, cherish more of my being and the wondrous emergence of human, biological and material interaction.

      I seek awareness. I seek a life lived in accordance with my being. A psychopath showed me that vision; yet I pursue it in my way. You drown my voice here. That's ok. I found the song in my being.

      Nana: you are in a privileged position. I challenge you to use your scientific training in a broader context. Expand your model of understanding to fit the datapoints you encounter. Beware confirmation bias. This is my challenge to you. Our knowledge of neurodiversity should inform our social models. Consider what *is* and not what *you* think should be or simply how you personally experience *life*. We are successful organisms; neuroplasticity offers amazing opportunities - but do not constrain those opportunities to old models. You are uniquely placed and I exhort you to use your intellect and experience to change understanding rather than to jam and control. Seek to understand.

      noelia - I am sure you can see as many opportunities as I do. Perhaps different ones! I will keep an eye out.

      Mr Hyde: I encourage you to speak your heart. Your heart is wise beyond measure and by exploring it you will find greater richness.

      A: my voice hasn't achieved what I wished. I couldn't preserve the dynamic that existed. It was important to combat his voice, lest it swamp this place. But he has more energy to expend for his aims. There continues to be diversity of views, perhaps more so. For me, it's time to listen, to hear. And I have other channels in which to actively grow as I have done here for a time. I love your voice and your leopard-like mind.

      Words are powerful and reflect the structure of the mind. They are the signposts of one's self. I seek not to fight but to be more aware. Think about how the words you use convey your mind to others.

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    18. Thank you north for your suggestions. I did not post in this blog in order to be the aliance of anybody. I am just myself. Also i do not seek to control anybody, i am not interested at all in controlling or imposing anything to anyone. The fact that i may have different views from you or anybody else in any matter does not mean that i try to control or that my view is narrow or yours is more expandend or vice versa. Everyone has his own personality, beliefs, views, philosophy and he builts his life as he chooses. I do not think that an ideal way exists. Whatever works for everyone aos much as it doesnt harm other fellow human beings it is his ideal. I just try to exist, expand my consciousness and if i can contribute some good in this world through my personality and work, i am happy.
      If by my presence you felt that i occupy the space here, and a division is created, this is not going to be a problem as i am not going to make any further posts. I feel the atmosphere very tense and i do not want to continue to participate in this.
      I wish you well in your life.

      Nana

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    19. North, thank you for all of the engaging, thought-provoking discussion and observations. I have learned a lot reading your posts. I wish you did not feel as though you must go, but I understand and respect your position and choice. You will be missed- and always welcomed back with open arms... By me, at least. ;)

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    20. North, I understand your decision and wish you to know that I have thoroughly enjoyed your eloquent and insightful posts. I am sad to see you go! You will be greatly missed.

      Mr. Hyde

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  3. As to why I may seem like I'm "preaching:" because I know it to be the Truth and consider it my obligation to tell psychos and sociopaths of all people. I don't impose anything I merely share my views on a public forum. You should be wondering why it bothers a subgroup here SO much.

    I would have been a psychopath unlike any I met (probably like the sickos we here about) if God didn't *miraculously* save me. You see true resilience comes from God - you put up with wrongs done to you because there is wisdom behind everything you don't see at that moment (so true). What psychopaths (socios not so much) do is not resilience: they have no sense of right or wrong, no conscience so they're just indifferent, NOT resilient. It's like someone who has foresight and stays calm during a tragedy compared to someone who is selfish and callous and stayed calm because he didn't give a damn if others were suffering. It LOOKS the same on the outside but they're polar opposites inside.

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    1. You ARE preaching. This isn't the place to debate God. I'm a religion man myself and have to disagree that God is the only way to be resilient.

      Sociopaths are resilient. You seem angry that it comes so easy to us while you struggle with emotional hardship.

      I cannot pity that.

      -Sociopath

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    2. I said psychopaths are not resilient, ever. Sociopaths vary depending on your definition and their traits.

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    3. And don't whine if I "preach" openly on a public forum. I don't use subtle manipulation and facade to ruin people - that is worse. Preaching is fair - you can ignore it. You can actually just sit back and laugh at my impending failure (as you must, no?)

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    4. "It's like someone who has foresight and stays calm during a tragedy compared to someone who is selfish and callous and stayed calm because he didn't give a damn if others were suffering. It LOOKS the same on the outside but they're polar opposites inside."

      I know what you mean, Jonaid - you mean it is like someone with congenital analgesia imagining that their inability to experience pain derives from strength, while imagining others weak for experiencing it, or stupid for choosing to.

      M.E. made a similar observation about tolerance a few weeks ago:

      "No one has to tolerate people who are easy to get along with or things that you already like. Tolerating only comes into play with things that are hard for you to deal with, displease you, or hurt you."

      But the cultivation of resilience and emotional independence IS ultimately the only real solution to the problem of emotional injury / suffering.

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    5. "I know what you mean, Jonaid - you mean it is like someone with congenital analgesia imagining that their inability to experience pain derives from strength, while imagining others weak for experiencing it, or stupid for choosing to."

      This, I believe, is true of a "sociopath" like M.E. or similar. I personally would not call such people sociopaths but if that's how they label themselves that's fine. M.E.'s observation is true - it's similar to what Jesus said: love your enemy because even the gentiles love their own. That is one rational argument for God - without Him there is no reason to tolerate the intolerable even when you know its for the greater good. Once your limit is crossed, you'll give up.

      The difference between Islam's stance and the apparent Christian stance is Islam categorizes your enemies into two camps: 1) Those who wrong you / oppose you but are amenable to change / reason / negotiation. "Sociopaths" as I define them fall into this category. So God says one ought to forgive such people no matter what wrong they do to you for His sake BUT if you want justice, you have the right. 2) Psychopaths / Devils - these are the instigators. They know full well what is right, what is wrong, and they have no reason whatsoever (no trauma, no history of abuse etc) except EGO, PRIDE, SELFISHNESS, ENVY etc etc to carry on with their corruption. These people are to be dealt with sternly. All those "violent" verses and "crucifixions" are directed at these people. However, there is a whole methodology for determing who fits into this category - it's not a blanket attack on anyone who appears to act anti-social.

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    6. But the cultivation of resilience and emotional independence IS ultimately the only real solution to the problem of emotional injury / suffering.

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    7. It is and that's why it's an evidence for God. Without God, you can cultivate resilience and emotional independence by becoming a psychopath. Why not? If I've been screwed over so much, why NOT become what I hate? At least I'm independent and not depressed. Rationally this makes sense for the individual but NOT for civilization. It would be a major, unexplainable flaw, in evolution. We ALL DO BETTER with more empathy. Turns out it is the religions and God who emphasize mercy & compassion. Without God civilization would cease to exist.

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    8. But the cultivation of resilience and emotional independence IS ultimately the only real solution to the problem of emotional injury / suffering. The ability to empathize with others isn't affected.

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    9. I guess I should rephrase here too. Emotional independence without God leads ultimately to psychopathy and THAT is objectively evil and dangerous.

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    10. The cultivation of control or influence over your own emotional state - as distinct from letting it be wholly at the mercy of and dependent upon others - is nothing to do with psychopathy. The ability not to lose your inward composure as the result of others' actions, if anything, actually increases your capacity for empathy by reducing or avoiding the self-concern and/or fixation with the offence or offender which otherwise consumes you.

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    11. And this IS ultimately the only real solution to the problem of emotional injury / suffering.

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    12. I agree with these latest two posts.

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  4. Catch y'all later. Tired of Jonaid bulldozing interesting convos.

    A: love ya
    Mr Hyde: you have a delicious mind
    noelia: I'm INTJ, too. Sociopathy provides a stark and irresistible lens through which to highlight the assumptions we make about the human condition. Based on your initial posts, I think you'll enjoy exploring in this place.

    M.E.: I'm always impressed with your synthesis, intellect and growth.

    I'll probably still be around but to a lesser degree. Probs a good time to kick on somewhere else. Have made some wonderful realisations and changes here and am really glad I found this place.

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    1. North: indeed, it looks like this place has a lot to offer to me, thanks :)
      Regarding Jonaid, I just stopped reading him out of boredom, by feeding his need for attention I'd be making him and this place a disservice.

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  5. I guess psychopaths can be "offended" and "hurt" and "bored" by mere comments they don't like. New tactic: boycott and pin it on Jonaid being mean. Somehow I suspect you'll be lurking around with a new ID. There's really an infinite of anonymous names to choose from.

    I'm still hopeful for you. Things are as bad as they can get before they get better.

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    1. You have used this article as a platform to lash out at sociopaths that have hurt you. It is pathetic.

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  6. Lol right like attacking psychos generically is "lashing out at sociopaths that have hurt you" - I have no clue if they even frequent this blog. I suspect at least one must be lurking around as anonymous or something. No if I wanted to lash out against them I'd name them and not do so on a SOCIO forum.

    To the contrary I'm using my experience to expose the psychos and differentiate between those people seeking answers and those who are confusing them.

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    1. You see yourself as some sort of angel, "exposing the psychos". Yet you are ignorant of their nature. You are the one confusing others. It is shameful.

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  7. Use logical arguments - don't whine now. You're doing what you accuse empaths of doing when YOU SCREW THEM. Remember what I said? Psychos have no resilience and are cowards. Mere words on a forum which you can easily ignore are making you uncomfy because I don't get you.

    So much for your backbone.

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    1. I don't understand why you antagonize people with "mere words on a forum which you can easily ignore". You're right, I can ignore the comments. However, I find it interesting to read the thoughts of an empath.

      We know better than to out ourselves publicly, by the way. It is not a smart move because most people do not respond kindly to it.

      Is it showing a backbone to go marching into the face of fire, or is it plain stupid?

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    2. i think it is showing a backbone and a true resilient nature to be authentic to yourself whatever your internal make up is even if you will be dismissed by the vast majority of people. If you act authentically you end up with people who trully deseve to be around you as they know who you really are and they chose to stay. Like this both you and them can evolve like human beings through true and honest exhange of feelings , thoughts and prespectives. It will be an interaction between authentic selves. When a chemical reaction between two people is authentic it can tranform both of them in ways that is impossible to predict.

      This is my opinion with all the respect to yours , and sorry that i hijacked this exchange.

      Nana

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    3. Anonymous 1:34

      Keep repeating the same lies and I will keep exposing them. The more the better - a diverse range of people will see the deception of psychopaths.

      Thanks again for the subtle threats. No I value integrity more than security. I trust in God. You should try it.

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    4. "I like reading your posts but WHY are you posting them and hurting mine and others' feelings?"

      "You're so mean and I would ignore you but I don't want to. Why don't you just stop posting because I can't help myself?"

      Not surprising for psychos

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    5. 'Use logical arguments - don't whine now. You're doing what you accuse empaths of doing when YOU SCREW THEM. Remember what I said? Psychos have no resilience and are cowards. Mere words on a forum which you can easily ignore are making you uncomfy because I don't get you. '

      It's clear now in this passage what Jonaid is trying to do. He wants to screw 'psychos' by dominating this blog, by diminishing them, by running roughshod over anyone.

      Don't underestimate his intent. He's not stupid in contradicting himself - it serves his purpose to dominate and diminish with his language. This little crusade is essential to his fragmented self. It's why he stops at nothing - he must dominate at all costs. This explains his copious investment.

      Any opportunity to fight is welcomed; he will twist language to disenfranchise. He wormed his way in through M.E.'s openness, and using a polemical topic. He identified threats and strategically develops alliances.

      Why did he label me a minion and the basest of psychopaths? Because I asked from the first: what are you trying to achieve here?

      So Jonaid: tell us! Why this rabid investment of energy?

      Answer the question. Do not duck. Do not weave. Do not slander.

      Answer the question: what is your objective?

      Is it your soul's cry?

      Delete

    6. Thank you, North, for explaining this so succinctly. You hit the nail right on the head.

      "It's clear now in this passage what Jonaid is trying to do. He wants to screw 'psychos' by dominating this blog, by diminishing them, by running roughshod over anyone."


      That much is clear. I dont have as much time to invest here as he does, but while I'm around, I will continue to expose his tactics.

      "Don't underestimate his intent. He's not stupid in contradicting himself - it serves his purpose to dominate and diminish with his language."

      Thank-you.

      **stores away this astute little observation as more ammo** ;)

      "This little crusade is essential to his fragmented self. It's why he stops at nothing - he must dominate at all costs. This explains his copious investment."

      Yes. He must dominate to rectify all the wrongs committed against him by all the sociopaths who allegedly screwed him.

      "Any opportunity to fight is welcomed; he will twist language to disenfranchise. He wormed his way in through M.E.'s openness, and using a polemical topic. He identified threats and strategically develops alliances."

      He isn't making very many of those.


      Shocking.~

      Delete
  8. i do not think that psycopats are resilient at all. Resilience is not to be emotionally void or feeling shallow emotions which leaves you unaffected by life continions and renders you able to move on like nothing happened. This may look as reliliense to an observer who is not aware of the internal make up of a psycopath. In reality this is coldness and detachment. How and why to characterise someone as resilient while he is never really touched in the first place by any person or any life condition as he is able only for fleeting emotions?? it is like you say that robbing a church is such a great and difficult task!! it doesn't make sense at all.

    Resilience is one of the most closely emotionally related human traits. Resilient is the one who is able to feel emotional anguise , he is able to recognise his emotions , to cherish them and despite the emotional turmoil that life conditions put on his way, he can control himself and bounch back without harming himself or any other fellow human being or society. That's why the true resilient people are admired. If a person of this kind is able to go even further and despite his sufferings will become a global paradimg to people teaching them how to love , forgive and evolve as human beings then we speak for this rare breed of humans like Socrates or Mandela. Where do you see any resemplance between this and a psycopath's detachment and coldness??

    If a psycopath was trully resilient he would be able to show his true self to everyone and not hide between facades and use people with lies and manipulation. He would be able to be accountable for his actions and not run away from the bad consequenses of his behaviour with coldness and cruelness. He would simply be able to own his behaviour and its outcomes as he would have internal strengh.

    Through my work i have studied sociopaths and also after having been involved during years with one of them i can reassure you that they are not resilient at all. They only look like it to the people who are ignorant of their true nature. Once someone see through them they look for what exactly they are, people with variable characters as everybody but void of empathy and conscience. So their pseudoresiliense is seen for what exactly it is, apathy and cold detachment. This is simply their nature .

    And to resolve any misunderstandings here about the assumption that the neurotypicals -empaths envy this pseudoresiliense of the psycopaths. Well , i cannot speak on behalf of all neurotypicals -empaths but judging from myself i can reassure you that i do not envy psycopaths at all. There is not worst thing for an empath than being close to coldness and cruelty. I would rather die than experiencing the emotional coldness and emptiness that i saw that was the internal reality of my ex psycopath.

    And talking for his resilience?
    After i exposed him and left him, he is anything but resilient. Three years after i left him he still tries to persuade himself that he controlls the situation and affect my feelings by rubing in front of me his newly acquired aunsuspecting victims. resilient? NO!!.. Laughable and boring power game ?? yes of course!!

    I am against people discriminatios and labeling as i believe that progress and evolution in humanity comes through acceptance , tolerance and cooperation between humans as soon as one respects the other and doesn't act in sneaky and harmful ways.I cannot resist though utter my opinion when i see such a distortion of the real meaning of the word "resilience". Neverthelles,if psycopaths like to think themselves as resilient be my guest. If this make you feel better for yourself why not?? freedom of thought exists and empaths are too compassionate to ruin such an assumption if it makes you feel well about yourselves. But you should be aware of other points of you.

    Nana

    P.S I am not a native speaker for english , so forgive possible errors in language.


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    Replies
    1. "freedom of thought exists and empaths are too compassionate to ruin such an assumption if it makes you feel well about yourselves."

      Nana, really?? How about the never ending Left-Right war? How about the situation Venezuela is living right now in which people have been killed and imprisoned due to their political views? All sociopaths? There are a lot of them then!
      I really like this quote I collected from twitter:
      "Empathy hurts. Non-sociopaths avoid hurting each other because it hurts you not to—then invent tribalism, to hurt people without feeling it." --@AskASociopath
      I think you, being a neuroscientist as you claimed in your previous post understand the underlying mechanisms behind this fact and that there's more to it than the simplistic empath/sociopath distinction, and that an empath can also be extremely cold.

      Delete
    2. Well, resilience for me involves anger management, staying cool under pressure, etc. Resilience is not giving in to the dark impulses, understanding that a lot of things are social construct - morality, rights - or products of people's own mind - attachment to emotions, overthinking things, letting fear get to them... Not getting angry or frustrated with these things, at least not outwardly. Not displaying coldness and being open when really I want to just ignore people. To everyone around me, I am as normal as they come. A bit driven, impulsive, but always doing the "right" thing. Of course it's a bit fun to dip into the darker side of things, an occasional indulgence is allowed but only when it would realistically not affect anyone. Of course if I got caught, they would react negatively, but if not, then there's no problems for anyone, and I usually come out happy. Nobody ever really loses around me, even though I subtly try to worm my way up to the top, I try to be a positive influence.

      Our emotions aren't non-existent, they're egocentric and fleeting. The resilience comes from non-attachment. Some are better than others at this. Hence why not every sociopath will end up becoming abusive in a relationship, but it's fully understandable and, honestly, you should expect some form of deceit or manipulation when you're in any sort of relationship with them - friends, coworkers, romance - but it's the resilient ones who know how to show restraint.

      Sociopathy is a different mechanism altogether in terms of how "normal" people think. We perceive time differently by generally being a live in the moment type of person, we're less impacted by fear (But we're not immune to it, we respond to it differently), we see past social constructs. We view life through an entirely different lens. Conversations aren't things you feel and just speak without even thinking. No, human interactions with us involves figuring out which version of yourself you plan to be, how you want the outcome to be, it's an A to B affair.

      I drop my mask all the time, in fact I'm usually generally open about what I am. Most sociopaths may not show resilience but the capacity surely is there. A sociopath should not be defined by his behavior; they should be defined by how they perceive life.

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    3. Anonymous @ 9:13 - Thanks for such elucidating comment. The vast majority of people haven't the faintest inkling how different people actually are - how fundamentally different the perception and experience of life can be. Such explanations are really valuable, and the only way another type can even begin to approach an 'understanding'.

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    4. What might an occasional indulgence into the darker side, that 'would realistically not affect anyone', entail? I'd be really interested to know.

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    5. I agree with a lot here and disagree with a little.

      All people have the same essential nature: their heart ("soul," "conscience"). It's the brain which varies from individual to individual. Some are more "intelligent," others are more "creative," others more analytic etc etc. A "normal" person - and this is the default state of all humans - have an intact brain and heart but the heart has the decision making authority. Sociopaths are people who's brain supercedes it's role & capacity by overtaking the decision making role. It's function is to give you information about the world, the ability to reason and learn and remember but it's your heart where your true understanding of ethics, right & wrong, and empathy are embedded. The brain can't make moral decisions and when it does you end up with a whole host if "theories" which are indeed "social constructs." Why should you follow someone else's construct when your brain doesn't comprehend it or agree with it? That's why such differences arise which lead to conflict, misunderstanding, breakdown of trust, war, "philosophy" etc etc.

      If you disagree with what I said than ask yourself: why is it that everyone - sociopaths, psychopaths, empaths and everything in between - everyone uses the SAME moral language with others. Even psychopaths SAY "killing is wrong," "suffering is wrong," "lying is wrong," "trust is ideal," "helping others is good," etc etc. We ALL (less the mentally ill) agree on all the most essential questions in ethics. It's the heart which we all have and is the same which is the source of this innate, basic understanding of good / evil.

      Having said all that, all these "differences" that sociopaths talk about are not actual differences nor are they static (which is why one can never come into final "terms" on really anything) with a sociopath. They're simply the result of allowing your brain to suppress the heart and then attempting to make your way in the world with an artificial and subjective moral code. It would work just fine if the world was made for you only. That's why you crave power: the only possible way to make your environment conform to your world view is through "power."

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    6. This I can't prove empirically because I'm not "qualified" nor do I have the resources but I certainly know it to be true from experience everyday. Logic and rationality stems from the heart - meaning it's the same source that provides your innate understanding of ethics. The brain utilizes these faculties and applies to the external world but they do NOT stem from the brain itself.

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    7. I don't mean to come across as a moral exemplar without flaws who's judging sociopaths and morally bankrupt people. By God I have my own flaws and I've been wrong in many ethical decisions. Everyone has a story which explains where they stand in terms of their current moral outlook. Any "attacks" from me are directed at psychopaths who've I've defined as people who willfully spreading misery and corruption without any trigger (abuse / trauma) or compulsion.

      Nice weather today in the NE.

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    8. to anonymous 9.13

      Your post really impressed me. For the first time i see so clearly and eloquently written all the things i had noticed to the pasycopath that i was in a relationship with!! thank you for this as it validates my observations and gives more credit to my conclusions as his behaviour created a lot of times much confusion.
      Looking in retrospect i can clearly see all his attitudes being explained by what you just wrote.
      The only thing i want to say is that i disagree in one thing with you as i always disagreed with him in the exact same thing after i diagnosed him and we openly talked about his personality.
      Attachment to emotions and morality are not social constucts for the majority of people that are neurotypicals. They are the reslult of their ability to feel deep emotions.Consciense is not only the superego but it is the product of empathy. Me ,and other neurotypicals i suppose, FEEL the right or wrong , the good and bad due to the instant emotion that is created in our body by the ability to empathise. This doesnt mean that consciense does not sleep or that we cannot put it to sleep if we want to sometimes , but this is its base. It is not social construct , it is derived and constructed on empathy , not society. I know that it is diffcult for you to understand it.It is like i speak a language that you are not aware of.My ex psycopath could not get it also. But it is how i feel it and how other neurotypicals i suppose feel it.
      I appreciate very much that you can be resilient and i respect it.
      i also totally agree with you that sociopaths should be defined by how they perceive life as a result of their lack od empathy /consciense and not by their behaviour. But to do this in a scientific way it is impossible as it requires close personal interaction with any questioned sociopath which is impossible. That's why the construction of the Psycopathy list e.t.c ...
      As a result to this i beleive that a lot of individuals who are classified as ASPD are not psycopaths / sociopaths and in the same time a lot of people who come out as quite normals are psycopaths.

      Nana

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    9. A moral exemplar? You're an idiot. You claim to love God, but you follow the teachings of a man who was, by all rights, the kind of person you are crusading against here.
      You give some lame ass argument about how the PSYCHOPATHS
      are the ones for whom Mohammed reserved crucifixion and dismemberment. Excuse me? LOL. He was the one going about ordering beheadings and burning people alive. Moron!

      And then.. This one is even better... You make some facetious comment about how noella's (?) post was a "breath of fresh air"- because she says that a desire for power is contemptible? And your false god says.... What? Hmm.

      Fighting in the cause of Allah is the the greatest possible pursuit in life. What is it to fight in the cause if Allah? To subdue your enemies by force until all is for Allah. You weak, uneducated Muslim. You don't even know what your prophet teaches.

      This business about how crucifixion is reserved for REAL psychopaths is easily dismantled by virtue of the simple fact that according to Islam, "mischief making" is anything that violates Sharia. And because the Qu'ran states that the penalty for those who wage mischief in Islamic lands is the same for soldiers as it is for supporters, you are commanded to subdue the infidels with terror- even citizens- until all religion is for Allah. But you reject power? Hahahaaaa!! XD

      We've tried to reason with you... And always, like a dog returning to its vomit, you go back to spouting those same reflexive arguments, because yours is a PERSONAL crusade, Jonaid- as some anonymouse put forth before- you are using this blog as a platform to lash against the supposed sociopaths who wrong you.

      So what Jonaid...? You criticize North, one of the most valuable and thoughtful posters here- because she posted after she said she was leaving?? You said to me SEVERAL times you wouldn't engage me, you pussy, because you know you *can't*, only to backpeddle and try to justify yourself like a simpering moron, a whipped dog. You're so fucking oblivious that it is beyond comical.

      Empaths are superior to psychos? Your own self-defined, unscientific, illogical definition of "psychos"? You call yourself an empath? You're a narcissist, Jonaid. The sooner you own it the better.

      I hope North reads this. I think it sucks that she thinks she has to leave because of the ramrodding and bullying a self-righteous coward who is SO oblivious that he follows someone who epitomizes psychopathy at its worst- whilst railing against them! By a pussy who will then whine and complain about how everyone else is so meeeeaaan to him, here... About how his feelings are hurt- and in the next breath literally castigate anyone who disagrees with him as a "minion". A devil!! Bahahaa!!!

      You're nothing but a joke, Jihadi. Your crusade is failing. Because "nothing false will win out in the end", loser.

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    10. There are different types of resilience. Psychopathy is a complex coping mechanism that confers different types of resilience.

      For some people resilience may involve retaining the capacity to hang onto to deep emotions, feeling anguish, etc... But some people are wired differently. How can we retain something we do not experience? Who is anyone to say that one is "better" than the other?

      My experience of resilience is more in keeping with the definition provided by anonymous 9:13. Resilience is to NOT give in to every dark impulse. To fund ways to channel them in a manner that is constructive and helpful, as opposed to destructive and antisocial. I am weak in this area.

      But I am strong in other areas. I can speak the truth without a shred of regard for what other people might think of me. I can accomplish tasks that most people don't want to do. I can be a pillar of strength and security when others around me are falling apart. I can put up with "abuse" and turn it into strength, allowing it to turn my resolve to steel. I can adapt to situations and scenarios like a chameleon. These too ate forms of resilience. It is such a fluid term.

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    11. Unfortunately I have to this nonsense lest people end up confused:

      "But I am strong in other areas. I can speak the truth without a shred of regard for what other people might think of me. I can accomplish tasks that most people don't want to do. I can be a pillar of strength and security when others around me are falling apart. I can put up with "abuse" and turn it into strength, allowing it to turn my resolve to steel. I can adapt to situations and scenarios like a chameleon. These too ate forms of resilience. It is such a fluid term."

      Yes genius anyone with some intelligence can do all of the above. Most people don't. The point is WHY you do any or all of the above. Psychopaths do it - speak the truth without regard or be a pillar of strength etc etc - to deceive others ultimately for their gain (and thus at the detriment of society).

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    12. Oooh please. The "detriment of society"? Mohammed's bloody teachings are a "detriment to society"- as can be readily attested by the sorry state every failed middle eastern state. Mohammed deceived everyone for his own personal gain. And you come strutting in here thinking you are going to teach all of us something about sociopathy and God, when you know nothing about either.

      You don't have to address my comments to help "sincere readers" avoid confusion. The people here have already spoken. I have much more credibility on this forum than you- and many posters have made this amply clear. And that is not because I am some "minion" that everyone is following. It is because I am addressing and systematically dismantling all of your arguments... Ripping though them like a hit knife through butter. Anyone with half a brain can see that.

      Nobody gives a shit what you think here, Joanid. We have made that resoundingly clear.

      Don't let the door hut your fat ass on the way out, you failure.

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    13. You are good at one thing only: forcing me to correct some of the nonsense you spew.

      "And that is not because I am some "minion" that everyone is following"

      No not everyone. You're a follower of other deceivers.

      You sure have some deep seated hatred for Muhammad (Peace be upon him). Why I wonder? I don't see any other psychopaths or sociopaths attacking here nonstop as if they have some personal score to settle. Let's start there shall we if you want to prove yourself to be capable of anything more than vulgar sophistry & sacrilege.

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    14. In the name of God, The All-Merciful, The Compassionate:

      "Muhammad is but a messenger, messengers (the like of whom) have passed away before him. Will it be that, when he dieth or is slain, ye will turn back on your heels? He who turneth back on his heels doth no hurt to Allah, and Allah will reward the thankful."

      Qur'an 3:144

      No scholar who's studied the life of Muhammad - muslim or not, Western or Eastern, EVER claimed he was in sense of the word "psychopathic." Read his biography and you're know for sure he was genuine (whether or not that translates into faith for you is irrelevant).

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    15. Oh, you'd better believe my beef with Mohammed is personal. In case you hadn't noticed, Islamic terrorism is off the charts, these days. I don't want his fascist poisonous ideology to spread to western nations any more than it already has. I dont want a bronze aged false prophet culling free speech in my nation. I don't want Sharia, nor the misogynistic, Quarnically approved practices that accompany it. I don't want a maniacal pedophile to have any say in the legislation of morality in ANY nation- let alone mine.

      I don't care if whole herds of fatwah- bleating scholars who apologize the institutionalized violence and a legislative theocracy mandated by the Qu'ran say that Mohammed wasn't the serial killing warmonger that he was. Who cares? Can YOU read? Mohammed makes himself perfectly clear within the context of his teachings, of which you appear to be largely ignorant... Referring and deferring instead to the notion of some vague "scholars". Learn to think for yourself.

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    16. That's not personal. May God guide you.

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    17. Don't tell me what it is or isn't.

      Yes, it's personal.

      Your false pedophilic prophet is detestable to me.

      Delete
  9. We are the only animals who know, "I will die." That's why we invented god. I'm only a sociopath "wanna be"; (something is really wrong with me because i stopped lying and the way you know a human being is lying is its mouth is moving, fingers hitting keys). I'm not quite dead yet, but I am old enough to see the claws fingering my throat. When I'm dying for real, I will say, "Fuck you, God." As I said, there is something wrong with me. Unlike everyone else posting comments here.

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  10. Radical if this is a sincere comment I wouldn't be surprised if you said the exact opposite upon your death.

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  11. They don't say He is "All-Merciful" for no reason.

    BTW why bother blaspheming on the way out if "we invented god"? Are you planning on cursing out casper before departing?

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  12. I never understood this argument by anti-theists even when I was an atheist. Sure someone can invent a lie and sell to others but how can you invent a lie (i.e. God) and believe it yourself? Now I know. Psychopaths and their minions do this all the time - distort reality in their minds. That's why they accuse the pious of "inventing God."

    I wasn't calling you a psychopath Agnostic. I just made an observation based on what you said.

    Thanks.

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  13. to noelia

    I really do not understand what point you want to make by trying to connect my phrase with the left -right war , the situation in venezouela and my post about resilience and sociopaths.
    i get the impression that you isolate one phrase of the whole post to make a point but what point i do not know.
    i just wrote what i believe about resiliense and sociopaths judging from my work experience and my personal experience having a close personal relationshiop with a psycopath during a lot of years.
    if you have a different opinion you may very well state it.

    I do not claim, i am indeed a neuroscientist , if you want to question this, it is not my problem.
    I do not simplify things using the dichotomy empath /sociopath as a generalisation. This would be stupid on my part as i am very well aware of the complexity of human brain and behaviour.

    My phrase about the assumption of the sociopaths that empaths envy them and the compassion of the empaths is what i believe.There is also a slight dose of sarcastic irony in it as sometimes i smile with the arrogance and grandiosity of some sociopaths that believe that the non sociopaths are the 'herd- weak -ships "e.t.c. Maybe it did not come out clearly or i did not write it well as i am not a native speaker for english.

    Of course an empath can be cold and detached if he decides it or if he feels very hurt from a situation. But it is not its natural state and judging from myself and my friends i do not like it very well as an emotional state when it happens. I never said detachment and coldness are characteristics of sociopaths only. The core features of sociopathy/psycopathy is the lack of empathy and consciense, so coldness and detachment come as natural results, is their natural state as their emotions are fleeting and swallow. So, this may appear as resiliense while is just a natural state. This is what i say.
    i do not believe that all empaths are good people or that all sociopaths are bad or evil. I consider generalisations to be not intelligent at all and even phasistic.
    i believe very much in free will and the capacity of every person to define his personal story and root in life. This cannot happen of course indepentendly of his neurobiology or he social contitions where he was born and inhabits. But brain has great plasticity, we still know too little about it despite the progress, and there are a lot of paradigms of people who instead of limitations throuth their genes,neurobiology and socioeconomic conditions they thrived in their lives contributing much to society.

    As a person i object very much to the idea of fate, destiny e.t,c by means that we are just the products of our genes and neurobiology. I see it every day in my work how this is a theory which is constantly proved to be at least very inadequate. I know that here we enter also the realms of philosophy but why not? according to Aristotle philosophy is the first science.
    i do not expect from a sociopath to grow a consciense, or to feel empathy but he can very well work with himself , if he decides ,to adjust his behaviour in ways that are more productive first to him and then to society by avoiding his default attitudes being lying, cheating , manipulating,stonewalling or expressing row coldness in a provocative way. Such a sociopath i would theorise resilient and i would respect a lot as he would have acquired the internal strengh to resist in the pressure of his nature and grow beyond this. Using the same analogy, as i already stated in my post, i think an empath is resilient when he is able to control the emotional overload produced by suffering through life conditions so he will not get lost dystroying his life. Like this he exerts control over his nature, so he is resilient.


    Nana

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    Replies
    1. I took an excerpt from it, in which you say "empaths are too compassionate blah blah..." and argued against that point, that's why I quoted you. I didn't make any reference to any other parts. So no, there's no connection between your whole comment and my point. Regarding the quote, I think you will understand that part without my help.
      But now that you talk about your whole comment about sociopaths and resilience, taking things out of context is what you did with ME's post. She explained clearly in which way she was using the term resilience. And instead of attacking her central argument, you decided to use a different definition. But, if you'd read the post again, maybe you'd understand what she was trying to communicate. It might offer a key point in helping you get over your relationship with your ex sociopath and heal.
      Please note that the denial of free will has nothing to do with genetic determinism or denial of the plasticity of the brain. Maybe you're not up to date with the research in this particular topic but it's definitely not "a theory which is constantly proved to be at least very inadequate." If you read about it some day, and take a look at some studies, you will see there's a recursive problem with the illusion of free will, given that in order to make a decision or generate a thought you need brain activity to make it happen in the first place. Which doesn't imply that the brain doesn't change in response to your actions and other influences like the environment.
      The problem with your wish of the sociopath to "adjust his default attitudes" is that in order to, lets say, control behavior you should have some minimum levels of impulse control and that requires, certain levels of activity in the prefrontal cortex to begin with, and it's been found that several sociopaths show low levels of activity in that area.
      Similar story with the Amygdala. And so far, there's no effective treatment.. so, not an easy task! Maybe adjusting your own views would be the most effective in this case, given that you are a compassionate person.
      Please don't interpret my arguments as a way of attacking you or something like that, I just like to argue.

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    2. Thank you for giving me instructions how to make a better research in my exact work field noelia . I suppose you know better by reading some articles in internet about how brain works and how it's function relates to behaviour than my clinical and scientific experience of 15 years.
      Also , I will run to reread the post of M.E at least 3times in order to understand it better as I am not so smart as you noelia and I lost the meaning.
      It is interesting to observe how fast a cultish like behaviour can be developed.
      I am not on this site to heal ftom something . If I wanted this I would not be here. I was here to try to explain the odd behaviours of a psycopath I left years ago and understand what lies behind his actions relating to me still now as I recently had an encounter with him due to job issues.
      I do not think though that I like the atmosphere with so many inflated egos fighting each other to prove who is the smarter indtead of exchanging points of view.
      I find it really boring and unproductive.
      Good luck with your sociopathic friend. And keep in mind that I can recognise passive aggression easily.

      nana

      Nana.



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    3. No problem, glad to help. I recognize passive aggression, too.

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    4. By the way, just to keep helping you, science gives a fuck about your supposed credits, science works based on discussion, evidence and logic. I'm a scientist, too and yes, I love reading papers online.

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    5. By the way, just to keep helping you, science gives a fuck about your supposed credits, science works based on discussion, evidence and logic. I'm a scientist, too and yes, I love reading papers online.

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    6. No problem, glad to help. I recognize passive aggression, too.

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    7. Noelia, i do not remember to have asked your help for anything and i have never made a personal reference to you before you started making comments on my posts trying to discredit my point of you or my characteristics as a human ('compassionate and bla bla...')or my value as a proffesional while you do not know anything about me.
      if you have a different opinion about the subject of personal resiliense that M.E wrote in the post you may very well state it as i suppose everybody can.

      If you like arguing in this way that i saw doing with me when you see an opinion different that yours you may do it. But, with someone who likes doing this in the level of language and manners that i see that you prefere judging by your comments to me especially the last one. That's not me.

      Nana

      P.S Congratulations if you are a scientist too becouse it takes hard work to become one.

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    8. sorry, typos : 'point of view",

      Nana

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    9. "making comments on my posts trying to discredit my point" It was 1 comment, in 1 post. I don't need to ask for permission, and it has nothing to do with you, I noticed a false statement and made my point. You took my argument as personal attack and then talked about inflated egos..

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    10. Neolia is right. You're the one who was being passive-aggressive, as well as unnecessarily defensive. For someone who claims a deep understanding of neurobiology, the concept of "psychological projection" appears lost on you.

      You're right. This isn't the place for you. Run along now.

      Can you take Jonaid with you? :D

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    11. Nola don't get discouraged you've been straightforward and honest. Such people tend to be attacked viciously, especially in the "sheep's den" that we're in.

      Delete
  14. "i do not expect from a sociopath to grow a consciense, or to feel empathy but he can very well work with himself"

    With all due respect Nana I think you're 100% wrong here. I do say this because I know better. There are just countless examples of sociopaths changing BUT the scientific community simply does not even consider anything that has not been verified in an empirical study. People will have all kinds of mystic experiences, epiphanies, "found faith," etc and have turned upside down in their moral outlook. It is often gradual but at times it can be one swoop.

    I can affirm personally that only 3 months ago I was almost, if not, fully sociopathic. My journey in was slow but picked up considerable speed this year. By "sociopath" here I mean I literally lost a sizeable portion of my empathy - something that I cherished and was the source of my strength, resilience and courage. After months of mood swings, depression, constant rumination (beyond my control), medication and some therapy, I was getting only worse. Then literally, over night, I had an amazing experience which rejuvinated my heart and gave me more strength and knowledge than I could have ever imagined. Since then I've been gradually learning more and more.

    Sociopathy is a fluctuating state of mind. A sociopath who is surrounded by intelligent, empathetic people will eventually become one of them and vice versa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's this? You contradict yourself yet again? Three months ago you were a sociopath.... But you said you never did *anything* so vile as what we do??

      You see sociopathic demons everywhere... It's not a "fluctuating state mind", it is a poorly understood personality disorder. You don't know anything about the things to speak authoritatively about here: Islamic theology, sociopathy,

      You're no empath, narcissist.

      What knowledge have you displayed? The unscientific claptrap you peddle here? The psycho you champion? Your easily debunked, contradictory statements? I am wiping the e floor of this blog with your so-called "knowledge"- and everyone can see it except you. How shocking.

      And you wont even engage me!! You run away like a bitch... Coward.

      Delete
    2. I clearly defined what my "sociopathy" was. I'll repeat lest you get away with misrepresenting me: lost a sizeable - if not majority - of my empathy.

      That sociopathy is a "poorly understood personality disorder" - I agree with this partially. It is certainly a disorder so thank you for admitting that. Second, in this "enlightened" culture with science rampant, yes most people are complete oblivious to what sociopathy really is.

      Thanks to God and God only, I have an understanding of it that very few people do. If you sleep easier at night calling me a narcissist because of that than so be it.

      Peace.

      Delete
    3. TRANSLATION: I have been given a special revelation from God about the TRUE nature of sociopathy that completely disregards all of the latest scientific evidence on the topic, because I'm so special- unlike the rest of you pathetic minions. So I am going to make a pain in the ass out of myself by seeking to force my uneducated views about it down everyone's throats by posting incessantly about it- in the same way that I try to convert others to the religion I blindly follow, yet misunderstand to the core.

      Everyone has pointed out how the holes in my logic and reason are gaping chasms, but no matter! I will cling to my erroneous beliefs because it helps ME to sleep better at night.

      I don't give a rat's ass that you're a flaming narc. Apart from the time I spend here, amusing myself by batting batting you around, I don't think about you at all. And I don't lose sleep over anything.

      Delete
    4. You remind me of someone I have a peculiar soft spot for. I don't mind your attacks against me. Really I don't but I wish you'd stop deliberately caricaturing the religion and Muhammad.

      Delete
    5. I swear to God whoever you are I wish you the best - I can't hate that asshole, apparently no matter what.

      Delete
    6. Of course not. That is because I'm helping you, and deep inside, some part of you knows it. :)

      I don't hate you at all, and I also sincerely wish you the best.

      But as for your request that I stop picking on Mohammed... I'm afraid I cannot grant it.

      That's your sore tooth, you see.
      ;)


      Delete
    7. I'm optimistic for you. I really hope you find it in you to sincerely ask God for help. You'll wish you'd had done it years ago.

      Good Night.

      Delete
    8. If you had been LISTENING to what I said right from the beginning, instead of just gearing up for your next rebuttal, you would have heard me when I said that I have given up any hope of self-righteousness altogether. I need a Savior. Christ's righteousness is imputed to me by faith. He intercedes on behalf of all sinners, and all sins- past, present and future- and only God can forgive sins. Jesus claimed that right. He fully manifested the image of God in man: He is our Emmanuel- God with us.

      I *did* ask God for help- and He literally threw me a life saver. It doesn't matter that I am more like Mohammed than like him. He loves me anyway. ;)

      Delete
    9. J. said, "That settles it."

      If only that were true.

      Buzz off.

      A said,

      "That's your sore tooth, you see.
      ;)

      Bingo!

      Pliers, please.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    10. Yes I did read that. Forgive me I don't take sociopaths at their word, especially when what they claim and what they do are in direct contradiction.

      If I may, how was it that He "literally threw you a life saver?"

      Delete
    11. And I have a lot of trouble believing even a semi-rational person such as yourself could believe that God actually came to die for your sins. It sounds like the perfect story for psychos to adopt: I'll do whatever I want because I'm already forgiven. Ironically what I want is the exact opposite of what Jesus wants.

      Delete
    12. God will ask Jesus on the day mankind is resurrected if he told his people he was divine or to be worshipped. Jesus says:

      "I spake unto them only that which Thou commandedst me, (saying): Worship God, my Lord and your Lord. I was a witness of them while I dwelt among them, and when Thou tookest me Thou wast the Watcher over them. Thou art Witness over all things.

      If Thou punish them, lo! they are Thy slaves, and if Thou forgive them (lo! they are Thy slaves). Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Mighty, the Wise.

      God saith: This is a day in which their truthfulness profiteth the truthful, for theirs are Gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they are secure for ever, God taking pleasure in them and they in Him. That is the great triumph."

      Qur'an 5:117-119

      Delete
    13. Riiight. So your pedophile prophet says that Jesus is going to let good Muslims choose whether or not to enslave Christians, LOL

      But while they're still alive, you had best subdue them via decapitation and dismemberment, until all religion is for Allah.

      Please. What a crock of shit.

      Delete
    14. I take back what I said yesterday. You're not even semi-rational. Your lies are utterly stupid and incoherent. You're just seeking attention. The sad part is people would readily give it to you if you were REAL and not a sold minion.

      My sincere apologies for falling into this sad tale's traps and re-indulging him. I won't make that mistake again.

      I'd say have some shame but I'm afraid it'll only make you worse. Good luck you'll need it.

      Delete
  15. The inner experience of human beings - (our thoughts, emotions, motivations, subjective understandings of the world etc) - are not verifiable by empiricism (at least not yet). That does not mean we ought to ignore what is obvious and apparent but not supported by "evidence."

    ReplyDelete
  16. I should clear my position on God and Islam since some miserable souls can't help but insult me and caricature my position. So here it is as plainly as I can put it:

    I believe God - One and Only - is the Eternal Reality. He is the Creator & Sustainer and All that we see, observe and do is in accordance with His plan. "Truth" is to acknowledge that and ask Him for guidance. One need NOT subscribe to Islam or any other religion. Religions are methodologies for approaching God. They have truth and false beliefs attached to them because human beings, by their nature, corrupt. Islam - by which I mean primarily the Quran - is the most pure & pristene version of Divine guidance. If you don't like it because you genuinely believe it is evil and destructive, than be a "freelance monotheist." However, if you're too proud to Call on God and are enslaved by your desires thus incapable of discipline, well then I can only say let's agree to disgaree.

    I hope that was clear.

    Thank you.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Hahaaa backpedaling about the Islam, are we? XD

      One thing is crystal clear: You're at beat confused, at worst- stupid.

      "Divine", my ass.

      Mohammed was a megalomaniacal, pedophilic serial killer. The entire Qur'an is FILLED with hate speech inciting people to violence- HATE SPEECH- but now some western nations want to make it against the law to offend Muslims by saying disparaging things about one of the cruelest, most violent and perverse tyrants who ever lived??



      Again, at least half the Qu'ran consists of hate speech. Vile, disgusting, evil hate speech, inciting the clueless, ignorant, uneducated hordes to violence.

      Delete
    3. '"Divine", my ass.'

      Oh yes.

      Not his.

      Yours.

      Crystal and cryptically clear. :))

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    4. The only clear J. is that you need a cosmic bum wash.

      I wish I could debate with you. Can't.

      I'd get my head lobbed off for being honest. Not that you'd be adverse to that.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    5. Sociopaths can debate, sure. That's what they're good at - winning verbal battles. They can't do a real dialogue, however.

      Delete
    6. @Mr. Hyde.... So charming. :)

      Thank-you for the compliment.

      Delete
    7. I'm not a socio, but am empath.

      You are a twit. Yes, Some empaths think some people are twits. Not demons or minions. Unless that's obvious by their ranting and raving. :))

      You make the empath label shameful by failing to engage in full spectrum dialogue. You're most obvious sin. ;)

      Sad as Hell, actually. You make me feel ill.

      Nothing else to say. 'Cept Peace.

      Please undo the pact you've made with M. To lop heads, rape and pillage. How does that prosper anyone? Even you, a repressed homo must realize that you're a demon of a most unholy desire as deemed by your own beliefs. Lighten up and enjoy God's diversity.

      Give M and us who come to this space to reflect on what it mean to be human, a rest. You know better. You do.

      You see, despite your misguided mission. Why you insist on arguing BS here is beyond me. Unless you hope to gather more virgins to join you in heaven.

      Stupid.

      You know that, too.

      Ain't no virgins here on SW. We all got raped by life a long time ago. Unlike you, we got over it.

      You admitted that folks here have won the verbal argument. Move on. :D

      Take a bath and chat with us when you've cleaned up your act.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    8. "Why you insist on arguing BS here is beyond me."

      That settles it. You don't sound like someone I should "chat" with. Good luck with the rest of your post "we got over it" journey.

      Delete
    9. Oh I should add:

      "We got over it" = We didn't get over it. We decided to stop thinking, give up, sell out and pretend like we're ahead of the curb.

      Enjoy yourself and leave us "repressed" people to our peril. Savvy?

      Delete
    10. Oooh noes!!! Another minion to add to the growing blacklist that you always violate, anyway! xD

      Delete
    11. "Enjoy yourself and leave us "repressed" people to our peril. Savvy?"

      How saintly. Johadi of fuck me up the ass BS. Too bad you're completely ignorant on that front, or should I say, ass.

      God would find you frigid. Because you can't 'get over it.' Let alone bend over to Him. Whatever that means in your eyes. So sad. Too bad. For you, that is. :D

      We on SW are thinking ahead of the curve of your dull sword. Get a whetstone and the balls that go with it.

      That's why you won't engage with me. Or A, North, anyone else with heart enough to express themselves. You just don't get it. Do you read anything other than the Koran. What?

      I'm not sorry to talk to you like this.

      I enjoy it as much as any other person of normal intel would. :)

      Buzz off. Clean out the ear wax. Read. Love. Fuck. Plant a garden. Raise a child. Bake bread and smell the bacon. Get life. :)

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    12. "Read. Love. Fuck. Plant a garden. Raise a child. Bake bread and smell the bacon. Get life."

      ^Mmmm... Mr. Hyde, I daresay you listed some of my very favorite things in that sentence. Add a few rousing sports to the mix, coupled with a passion for debate, and you've got me all figured out.


      Except you forgot beer. ;)

      Delete
    13. I got beer and more. All those things that JJ finds abhorrent and you adore.

      May Allah bless us with lightening. :D

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    14. "Thank-you for the compliment."

      You're welcome.

      A momentary slack with JJ offered the opportunity to point out your expound my gratitude that you have fought the 'good' fight against 'all-merciful' terrorism. Lol.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    15. "opportunity to expound"

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    16. Mr Hyde, it is wonderful to see this side of you!

      Let us now take a step back. What do we observe? Rabid investment of energy. The brain efficiently seeks outcome: such investment *implies* purpose.

      Now, let's examine:

      ******Jonaid December 12, 2015 at 3:23 PM******
      "I like reading your posts but WHY are you posting them and hurting mine and others' feelings?"

      "You're so mean and I would ignore you but I don't want to. Why don't you just stop posting because I can't help myself?"

      Not surprising for psychos

      *****Jonaid 1:05 PM ******
      'Use logical arguments - don't whine now. You're doing what you accuse empaths of doing when YOU SCREW THEM. Remember what I said? Psychos have no resilience and are cowards. Mere words on a forum which you can easily ignore are making you uncomfy because I don't get you. '

      **************************

      Note that he is paraphrasing.

      Do not underestimate his intent. By arguing, we offer him the opportunity to redefine on his terms. Instead, I shall ask again, as I did at the start:

      What is your objective?

      I repeat my questions from earlier
      >>----------------------------------------------->
      Jonaid: tell us! Why this rabid investment of energy?

      Answer the question. Do not duck. Do not weave. Do not slander.

      Answer the question: what is your objective?

      Make it a clear and consistent answer that accounts for your incessant slandering and polarising and defining and diminishing of others. What are you trying to achieve?
      >>----------------------------------------------->

      Delete
  17. Insane minds don't understand the Quran. That's one of its miracles and God says it Himself. He guides whom He wills by it and He LEADS ASTRAY whom He wills by the same book. Before you say "on so he set me up" - NO - the decision is yours: approach it with humility and don't think you know everything.

    Your pseudo intellectualism is not impressing anyone. When will you give up this act?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Insane minds don't understand the Quran.... Your pseudo intellectualism is not impressing anyone. When will you give up this act?"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J_aBAgsVKg

      Delete
    2. In other words, you should NOT have spewed the above words about A, Jonarsewad! "JUST" clarifying things.

      Delete
    3. JJ, With all Due Respect to Someone Who Believes in M's REP: Rape, Beheading and Pillaging:

      "NO - the decision is yours: approach it with humility and don't think you know everything."

      Yes. And the choice is also yours. You continue to preach damnation but not address your own issues, J. Everyone here has said that they accept making and experiencing the consequences of their actions and that everyone on the spectrum should therefore adhere to the same rules. It's more difficult with shallow emotions. From which you suffer most pathetically. Ergo: Otherwise you would not bow down something so barbaric and unforgiving as to decapitation. :)))

      And so much further.

      Yet you chose to demonize maverick thoughts, feelings, ways of being/diversity within neurology: Where exactly does neurological manifestation of 'heaven within' begin and end? With Adam or Moses? Or, better yet, for me and many others, with Kahlil Gibran? Oh my. How I could rant on!

      Would you exterminate the millions of people who are different, high or low on the neuro-spectrum?

      If so, why?

      Of course socios don't show humility.

      No wounded being willingly reveals it's vulnerable spots. Unless exposure offers a healing balm. Not promise of a bloody death and eternal hellfire.

      A, North and others have said not they "know" everything. Only that their arguments are rationally superior in deconstructing/juxtaposing the bible and the Koran -- the so-called holy ground of your compassion. The 'all-merciful.'

      If only I had more time and energy to give to a saintly hate-monger like you . . . :D

      But I don't. I just wish you'd buzz off. :D

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    4. "have not said they know everything."

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    5. I never said I know everything. I certainly don't and whatever I do know I know because of God only. I hope you understand what I mean one day.

      Good luck.

      Delete
    6. Yet another irony:

      Devils, minions, psychopaths & possibly some sociopaths are attacking Muhammad as they perceive him (deliberaly incorrectly or in ignorance) because he appears to them to be LIKE THEM - a psychopath.

      I wonder if you people even want to be taken seriously.

      Delete
    7. Morality is subjective, and is always based on context. It can often be confused with conventionality too. In the context of Muhammad's culture and religion, his actions were perceived as morally good and justified. People unlike yourself Jonaid, who are not assimilated into that culture and religion, will not perceive it the same way necessarily.

      I personally, a sociopath, will not seek to shame you Jonaid, because regardless of what I say you shall remain convinced that your mentality is sound and your opinion valid. As far as I am concerned, the path you choose to take for your own fulfillment and pursuit of happiness is a valid one, but only for the fact I choose to take your word for it when you say it truly brings you joy. Only in the instance where you would choose to impose your own ideals upon me would I object. It is not for me, because at the end of the day each and everyone of us is the only fair judge of our personal image and worth.

      Delete
    8. " personally, a sociopath, will not seek to shame you Jonaid, because regardless of what I say you shall remain convinced that your mentality is sound and your opinion valid."

      You have a very high opinion of yourself if you think I care about you shaming me. That's a tactic people use when reason fails them and their pride doesn't allow them to accept objective truth.

      You don't have to believe what I say and write here so leave it at that. Don't pretend like you're doing me a favor by not engaging. If you had an argument - a real one - your comment would not have been as it was.

      Delete
    9. If morality is based on intentions first & foremost, than NO it is never subjective. How we strive to understand what is moral and what isn't moral is subjective yes. In essense, there is only ONE objective morality but no one person can claim they know what exactly that is.

      Delete
    10. *raises an eyebrow*

      I said what I had to say out of respect for you, not to be condescending. It had not even occured to me to even consider what I wrote was talking down to you, it was purely earnest words.

      Admittedly, I am frequently oblivious to my own shallow affect because I often simply do not properly take into consideration other people's feelings due to my lack of empathy. Of course, you already were aware of that.

      Delete
    11. " there is only ONE objective morality but no one person can claim they know what exactly that is."

      Well. Thank god for that. At least you're aware . . . but, now, can you do better than that?

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    12. You did intimate that you did 'know everything.' By proxy of reading M's scriptures. Why can't you admit that your view of demons is strictly based on a vision that's willing to kill and mutilate?

      For Christ's sake, grow up and smell the roasting humanity and intolerance your religion preaches.

      Buzz off. Until you can see, feel, smell and taste the honey of diversity.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    13. Anonymous 8:39

      My apologies if I misconstrued your post. Thank you for the message.

      Delete
  18. Riiiight. So God uses His own "holy" word to lead astray people that he arbitrarily wants to cast into hell while he commands his followers to dismember, crucify and behead unbelievers. But we just don't understand its majesty! Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I thought you were above talking to me, Jonaid? Backpedaling again, are we?

    Wake up. You're a narcissist. You are not an empath. And you are swallowing a caravan of of Mohammed's camels and being made USELESS when you could be a powerful voice for God. Moron.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "And then.. This one is even better... You make some facetious comment about how noella's (?) post was a "breath of fresh air"- because she says that a desire for power is contemptible?"

      Hey, it wasn't me, it was Nana's comment!

      Delete
    2. Your insightful question to Jonaid: “I thought you were above talking to me, Jonaid? Backpedaling again, are we?”

      All of this is happening because Jonaid is actually Salieri in all of his exchanges with you, A. He is envious, mule-headed and seeking to destroy. Trust me, I know so. Here is an “exemplar” of Jonaid/Salieri:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9NG_NPLktA

      And who is laughing at Jonaid/Salieri now? Watch:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCB_OcJcDYY

      Delete
    3. The question mark was intended to underscore my uncertainty concerning the source of that reference. My sincere apologies.

      Delete
    4. Hey, no problem :)
      I just felt the urge to clarify because I wouldn't make such a statement. I'm friends with power, I let it jump on my bed ;P

      Delete
    5. 'Moron.'

      Definition of the "All-merciful."

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
  20. I've been reading this blog on and off for awhile as I've been working in a professional capacity with someone who I think would be considered a sociopath/ASPD. I think that it's possible that I'm an empath, as in general I feel other people's emotion very deeply, and can tend to see opportunity and want to help pretty much everything that needs help to my own detriment. That being said I usually don't mind and generally feel more energized from helping people, and thankfully work in a field where I get rewarded for my natural talents. In working with this potential sociopath it occurs to me how many similarities there are in the two polarities. I feel that it could be said of empaths that they can use their empathetic powers for manipulative purposes in the event that they are emotionally harmed. In the same way it's a marker for sociopathic people, I suppose to manipulate. What I've noticed and I'm not 100% sure if it's my perception or the persons intent (and I suppose I can never really know *anything* for 100% anyway, all I can do is infer...) is that in many cases this person is trying to be helpful or benevolent in a way but it gets translated in the wrong way and then they get negative reinforcement for doing good things despite their intentions to help. It seems like this person despite his best efforts consistently gets negative feedback until he lashes out. The interesting thing is that I have seen that this person has been pretty much honest as far as I can tell (I could be wrong and I think any structurally minded, DSM following authoritative Psychiatrist would disagree with me.) but people tend to assume that he's lying. Perhaps because he's too friendly and too charming? I don't really feel like he's lied, and in relation to drug testing he's always come up the way he says he's going to. Not always clean but he's always said up front if he did some drugs before testing. The other piece that's interesting is the potential use of testing with people to see what their reactions are and if they're willing to read between the lines when he's very up front about *wanting* to do violent and destructive things. Most of the time that ends with people either waning to call crisis services on him or fighting back or rejecting him. Listening to him specifically he's never said that he was going to do this thing or that thing, only that he has the urge to do this thing. After working with him for three years he hasn't done anything destructive that I know of, and also states clearly that he doesn't want to do violent things, and considers himself a violent person. But upon looking at him from a singular situation vs a three year working relationship, it's easy for me to see why people may jump to that conclusion. His affect is both extraordinarily charming and also very scary, loud and attention grabbing if you're not willing to listen very closely and analyze without getting too emotionally charged up/scared shitless.

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    1. That is to say *considers himself a non-violent person.

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    2. This is where writers like Phillip K Dick are invaluable. I. E., the danger of "minority reports."

      Listening to him specifically he's never said that he was going to do this thing or that thing, only that he has the urge to do this thing. After working with him for three years he hasn't done anything destructive that I know ..."

      Mr. Hyde

      "

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. The above suggests and I think is confirmed in some literature in regards to sociopathy that there is a strong internal moral code. Not one that is set by society (external) but internally set by self? Which would make sense to me because if someone has been consistently criticized/abused for their best independent efforts externally (whereas most people and I feel like this is true of myself, have been given ample praise for fitting into societal norms and submission to this structure) of course they wouldn't trust or want to follow social norms. So my question in this very long and convoluted statement is to ask if there really is a difference between a (severely) wounded empath and a sociopath? My understanding which I think is quite limited is that those who are known as healthy empaths are generally more introverted (INFP) whereas (and this is a very narrow hypothesis based on two potential socio/ASPD cases) the potential socios that I've worked with tended towards the highly extroverted side of the spectrum (ENFP?). Which charisma and flattery fits into nicely in any case. I suppose the point of me saying this is that I'm not 100% convinced that there is a solid defined state of being that is a sociopath. I suppose being a sociologist I tend to look at it more institutionally in which I would state that I feel like the sociopathy scale is more a reflex of society to define and segregate and otheritize a class of people that has suffered particular social trauma. Utilizing the myers-briggs as a different paradigm for looking at potentially empathic and sociopathic people it would also explain why they go famously well together as they in a way feed each other by way of their internal and external differences in processing and sensing their environments.

    ReplyDelete
  23. " Not one that is set by society (external) but internally set by self?"

    True of all true seekers on the path to self-awareness.

    "is [there] really a difference between a (severely) wounded empath and a sociopath?

    I don't believe so. The 'universal' cause of wounds for sentient beings with a mammalian brain (social pact sense)is, I think the same. It's interesting to note, however, how different inter-psychic wounds manifest within the context of genetics and other factors and autistics/socios, neurotypicals and empaths. Taking note here in these differences has helped me.

    We're all living a biological mystery trying to figure out ourselves and the universe, and our place and purpose within it. This drive is an element of all life, from bacteria to manly crocodiles to Jihadis.

    "I'm not 100% convinced that there is a solid defined state of being that is a sociopath."

    Neither am I. Labels are only useful to a point, the end of which goes beyond anyone's guess, given our present knowledge.

    An industrial-environmental, existential point of no return is here. We can only go forward. Together or not, each always taking responsible for self and, I do believe, for others, especially the disenfranchised. ))

    One thing I do know absolutely: Life loves diversity.

    "I feel like the sociopathy scale is more a reflex of society to define and segregate and otheritize a class of people that has suffered particular social trauma."

    No doubt. We're barely above Kodo's level. In fact, unless Kodo was 'framed' in her speech to Paris, it's clear she has a low opinion of humans.

    My schema, your schema.

    It all relates back to the condition of being an individual consciousness caught up in the cosmic web, trying to know Itself.

    I am be wrong, but it doesn't matter. Seeing this way furthers me in this present life. The only way in which I have any chance of realizing myself and the beauteous creation, fecundity of all life. The only one in which I may be consciously aware of myself and others. And which fucking up means destroying the beauty I most cherish.

    Which begs the question, Who am I? Who are They? Where are We going?

    We're all headed together somewhere, at the very least we're all going to have live together. Might as well have fun and make it the best We can be.

    Mr. Hyde

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    Replies
    1. "Koko the guerilla. A wise creature by all accounts. Certainly above human contempt and a trooper in life's quest to make the best of difficult environmental circumstances.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
  24. I like to explore the idea of fear. I once told a friend of mine that I think irrational fears are foolish, that only realistic rational fears made sense to be afraid of. She then asked me if I'm a sociopath, and of course I decided to not comment on that. Instead I told her that her squeamishness towards small harmless vermin was an entirely irrational fear based on false evidence or what was simply unknown to her and therefore assumed such things could possibly endanger her. "Yeah, but even if I don't know for sure what if they can hurt me?" It is increasingly more futile to fear the unknown, as you'll realize if you look at the bigger picture there is simply so much we as human beings are ignorant about. It is more rational to accept this reality and shed your anxiety and fear of it, and seek to obtain a state of mind that is informed or at least braced to adapt to challenges as they come.

    Another question is then, what is a rational fear? I speak for myself primarily, but I think since us sociopaths tend to live in the moment, our concerns are seated in that. A man puts a gun to my temple and at that given moment I would think it would be rational to consider fearing the possibility of death. I won't truly know if he'll pull the trigger though and put a bullet in my head. The best thing I can do for myself is to keep a level head and a calm and cool exterior while plotting the best course of action to get myself out of that predicament.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ooh, big revelation, "irrational fears are foolish, [...] only realistic rational fears [make] sense to be afraid of".
      Good that you later go on about the question what even a *legitimate and rational* fear is. Unfortunately you're not very clear on this topic.

      For me, and probably some other people (surely a minority) FEAR is nothing I can decide on. I am very well aware about how irrational my fears can be/are. I see the patterns and contexts in which they occur. I mostly know the origin or causes of them. But yet all this logic doesn't prevent me from experiencing it. At least not in the very moment.

      Delete
    2. Long term, a rational approach to my fears will help me get over them. But this conditioning/ resilience- building takes some time .___.

      Delete
  25. A: You sound like a teenager. It seems like you are so blinded by your angst that you are incapable of actually reading Jonaid's comments, which actually seem to be a lot more objective than yours. I'm not sure what you're trying to do but it ain't working.

    "I have much more credibility on this forum than you- and many posters have made this amply clear. And that is not because I am some "minion" that everyone is following. It is because I am addressing and systematically dismantling all of your arguments... Ripping though them like a hit knife through butter. Anyone with half a brain can see that."

    Credibility, is that what you're after? (LOL) I believe I have at least half a brain but I ain't seeing any of that. Grow up.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Anonymous 4:49 AM

      Thank you for the honest observation. This place would improve exponentially if more people were genuine.

      Delete
    2. Yes, anonymouse, "credibility", which the dictionary defines as: "the quality of being believed or accepted as true, real, or honest".

      I have been coming here on and off for several years. I have been contributing as someone with a many sociopathic traits, seeking to shed light on some of those patterns, and learning about myself in the process. I have always been very honest and transparent here.

      Jonaid, on the other hand, waltzed in here a couple of weeks ago and has systematically and literally demonized everyone he believes is a psychopath. The other day he said something very ahem... "objective" about there being a "hierarchy of demons" here with myself at the top of it. (I.e. I have been the person the most vocally opposed to his crusade here.)

      So yeah. I think I am perfectly within my rights to state that I have more credibility than someone who literally casts psychopaths as devils, rather than individuals with a particular cluster of personality traits, which happens to be my position, as someone with a preponderance of them.

      Perhaps you have a brain, but you certainly aren't using it if you think this makes our resident Jihadist more being "objective".

      As for "growing up"... Nah. I'm am executive. I have to be "grown -up" every single day. I come here to play. And like I said, right now... J.J is my favorite chew toy. His smug, condescending, self-righteous attitude, and efforts to denigrate psychopaths make him irresistible to me.

      @Jihadi....

      TRANSLATION: This place would be so much better if more people agreed with me!

      Delete

    3. These sentences should read:

      *...Like a knife right through butter....

      *if you think this makes our resident Jihadi more "objective"

      Typos galore. :P

      Delete
    4. You can be a beautiful person if you come to your senses. By God I'm telling you you can be amazing but you read this and think "I'm already great, you just want to bring me down because you're envious." Of what? What possibly could I - or anyone who's not sold - be envious of? No, we see & recognize true potential and beauty when we see it and it is almost torturous to see it being destroyed so willingly by itself.

      Grow up and you'll be great. Stay as you are and "play" along until you croak a miserable croaking.

      Find yourself you're lost. I have faith in you.

      Delete
    5. Excuse me, but I don't need you to tell me I can be amazing, or beautiful if I would but conform to the labels you wish to cling to. I am all of those things quite apart from your subjective definitions. ;)

      Stay as I am?

      Certainly. That means I should continue to be a wife and mother, as well as a provider, a director, and a leader in various spheres of my community. It means that I should continue to speak boldly against those things which I think constitute a detriment to society, like the legalistic, restrictive toxic ideology you keep trying to convince everyone is so wonderful. It means I should continue to make choices that harness my strengths towards positive ends: Like feeding those impoverished Muslim kids- and their soon-to-be augmented numbers, thanks to a refugee crisis instigated by fanatics who are merely carefully obeying the commands of the opportunistic tyrant you follow.

      But no. I need to grow up, and submit to your theocratic bullshit to be "fine". And you will be sure to keep calling me a devil until I conform.

      I never said that you were envious of me- but since you keep bringing it up, I am compelled to think there must be a reason for it.

      "Amazing grace, so sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see."

      I don't need you to have faith in me. I have faith in myself, and in God, as I choose to believe in Him.

      Delete
  26. Hey A it's anonymouse here again. :)

    I wasn't questioning your 'credibility' but laughing out loud that you consider it something to be proud of. This is sociopathworld.com! :D And "many posters have made this amply clear". Wow, that's amazing (and not at all narcissistic).

    I was just reading through this long thread of comments because I'm interested in other people's views on life and things. Let's face it: there is no Truth. Not his and not yours and definitely not mine.

    To me it just seemed like Mr J was actually reading the comments, observing them and comparing them with his inner vision of what he perhaps considers his current 'truth'. Sometimes he agreed and sometimes not. (In my mind) I sometimes agreed and sometimes not. You on the other hand kept on ranting.

    I obviously don't know you but I guess that if anyone goes about like that in everyday life they fail to look at the world with sweet curiosity and instead appear like a grumpy little kid with no manners, socio or not. That's all.

    Oh wait, one more thing: "J.J is my favorite chew toy. His smug, condescending, self-righteous attitude..." Actually I think you just described yourself there.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes, many posters have made that clear on several occasions. That is just an objective fact. Even so, I'm a sociopath. Of course I'm narcissistic. :)

      You may consider truth to be relative, and that is all well and good, but when someone persistently tries to demonize me- and a whole subset of the population- according to his version of the "truth"- seeking to stifle dissenting voices, and castigate anyone with a more balanced and scientific approach than the premise that "all psychopaths are minions destined to burn in hell!!"- then Im going to have something to say about it.

      It just so happens that you are jumping in at a time when the blog is currently being overrun by a someone on a "holy quest" to *demonize psychopaths*. This is alienating a lot of people. A very insightful and valuable contributor is leaving on account of it.

      I've often said that I have no self-righteousness on which to stand. But I do have something to say about someone who calls a megalomaniacal, mass murdering, pedophilic tyrant "holy", whilst in the same breath saying that all sociopaths are damned to burn in hell unless they turn to the despotic god portrayed in the Quran.

      You are entitled to think that makes me smug and condescending. But I think it makes me rational, logical, and willing to stand up for what I believe to be true- according to my personal understanding thereof.

      Potato, po-tah-to, tomato, to-mah-to. :P

      Delete
  27. "all psychopaths are minions destined to burn in hell!!"-

    I never said this. This person is only good at caricaturing to confuse and deliberately mislead curious people who come here.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Uuh, yes you did. In fact, you said that the crucifixions ordained by Mohammed were supposedly reserved for them.... You said that psychopaths are demons. Several people told you, in various ways: "No Jonaid...Psychopathy is a personality disorder"... but you insisted on retaining your definition of the term, claiming a special revelation from God on the nature of sociopathy which allows you to understand it in an uncommon way.

      You called me a devil-worshipper after I shared my personal encounter with Jesus, and explained why I believe as I do.

      You called North a "minion".

      You claimed that there is a hierarchy of demons here and that I am the worst of them.

      Who is the one misrepresenting his words to confuse people? Who is the one relying on caricaturizing psychopaths and sociopaths so as to support his personal bias?

      LOL

      Keep talking. You condemn yourself further with every post. I am not going to allow you to lie so as to misrepresent your agenda here.

      Delete
  28. A, it's Anonymouse here again! :D

    I just couldn't find the part where Mr J stated that "all psychopaths are minions destined to burn in hell!" Perhaps I should look harder.

    "It just so happens that you are jumping in at a time when the blog is currently being overrun by a someone on a "holy quest" to *demonize psychopaths*. This is alienating a lot of people. A very insightful and valuable contributor is leaving on account of it."

    No, I've been following this site for about a year now. This isn't the first time I think you're acting like a child but is the first time I felt like commenting on it.

    "You are entitled to think that makes me smug and condescending. But I think it makes me rational, logical, and willing to stand up for what I believe to be true- according to my personal understanding thereof."

    We certainly view your behavior differently.

    "This is alienating a lot of people. A very insightful and valuable contributor is leaving on account of it."

    "very insightful and valuable contributor" LOL, this is still sociopathworld.com.

    Someone called Nana commented earlier: "I do not think though that I like the atmosphere with so many inflated egos fighting each other to prove who is the smarter indtead of exchanging points of view.
    I find it really boring and unproductive."

    Which I think was pretty spot on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Anonymouse! :D

      I guess your deductive abilities are challenged. He may not have stated it outright, but his inference was very clear.

      J.J. said:

      ".... You and your gang are pretty desperate. I must say you're good at being servile but are incredibly stupid in everything else. Like I said psychopathy - in your case outright Devil worship - has destroyed your mind."

      "... Just wait and see. You'll need new IDs eventually. God sees - you know where you're headed. "

      "... True psychos do NOT reveal their narratives - particularly their "troubled' pasts. A true traumatic experience is hidden away by people. The real psychos - Devils - do not have any real traumatic experiences but are in fact driven by their hubris. That's why they're not feigning all these sad stories."

      ".... Psychos are nearly, if not entirely, void of any empathy and are driven purely by their ego, their own desires to aggrandize themselves, their arrogance & pride. No doubt many, if not all, of these characters are what traditionally were called "Devils." These people certainly deserve HELL and that is what the Quran says."

      Is that explicit enough for you?

      Delete
    2. Mousie said: "No, I've been following this site for about a year now. This isn't the first time I think you're acting like a child but is the first time I felt like commenting on it.

      And it won't be the last time, either. :D

      A said: "You are entitled to think that makes me smug and condescending. But I think it makes me rational, logical, and willing to stand up for what I believe to be true- according to my personal understanding thereof."

      Mousie replied: "We certainly view your behavior differently."

      That's nice. I don't give a shit what you or this hypothetical "we" might think.

      I said I had more "credibility" than J.J. because of the nature of his self-stated quest here, which is inform his audience of sincere readers what psychopathy *REALLY* is.

      He mentioned specifically that he doesn't want "sincere readers" getting sidetracked by all the sociopaths and psychopaths who come here to "socialize", and mislead people as to the nature of their condition by talking about it from their false perspectives, because he had a "divine revelation", which makes *his* views (and those of a select "VERY FEW" others; i.e: those who agree with him) the only ones worth reading on the subject. And yes, he stated that very explicitly. Do you need me to spoon feed that quote to you as well?

      A said: "This is alienating a lot of people. A very insightful and valuable contributor is leaving on account of it."

      Mousie said: "very insightful and valuable contributor" LOL, this is still sociopathworld.com.

      So? Just because *you* don't consider the contributions of others valuable because "this is sociopathworld", doesn't mean that others do not consider the thoughts of certain posters helpful or useful. You are entitled to your opinion, but you can only speak for yourself. It is rather self-centered and silly assume that everyone else shares the same view.

      Mousie said: "Someone called Nana commented earlier: "I do not think though that I like the atmosphere with so many inflated egos fighting each other to prove who is the smarter instead of exchanging points of view.
      I find it really boring and unproductive."

      Which I think was pretty spot on."

      You find the combative atmosphere here "boring and unproductive"? That's fine- but again, some of us enjoy it. You should have seen it about 2 years ago, when more sociopaths actually posted here. This place is tame by comparison, now. XD

      But since you find it so "boring and unproductive", like Nana, perhaps this isn't the place for you. After all- to reiterate your own words- this is *sociopathworld*.

      If you are looking for a different kind of atmosphere, there are many carefully moderated blogs out there which ensure that posting standards meet your criteria. Perhaps you ought to find one.

      :)

      Delete
    3. Yo it's Mousie here. :)

      "...the first time I felt like commenting on it.

      And it won't be the last time, either. :D"

      You were right!


      "I don't give a shit what you or this hypothetical "we" might think."

      We = me and you baby.

      "So? Just because *you* don't consider the contributions of others valuable because "this is sociopathworld", doesn't mean that others do not consider the thoughts of certain posters helpful or useful. You are entitled to your opinion, but you can only speak for yourself. It is rather self-centered and silly assume that everyone else shares the same view."

      It honestly just made me laugh out loud that someone is so serious about being a worthy contributor to sociopathworld.com. Have you put this on your CV? :)

      "You find the combative atmosphere here "boring and unproductive"? That's fine- but again, some of us enjoy it. You should have seen it about 2 years ago, when more sociopaths actually posted here. This place is tame by comparison, now. XD"

      Yes, I generally get bored easily. It does annoy me reading some nonsense ranting but you're right, if I do find it so boring perhaps I should leave. For some reason I just keep coming back. Maybe I'm addicted.

      Delete
    4. Yo Mousie! :D

      "You were right!"

      Yeah. Just like I was right about what Jonaid said. :P

      "We = me and you baby"

      Ehh... How can the "we" in your original statement refer to "you and me baby"? Why would I be seeing my own behavior differently?

      You were obviously trying to speak for others here, although now you're backpedaling and trying to deny it, rather than simply owning it, for some reason.

      "It honestly just made me laugh out loud that someone is so serious about being a worthy contributor to sociopathworld.com"

      I was referring to North, genius.

      Like I said, I mostly come here to play.

      "Have you put this on your C.V?"

      Why would I? I never have to submit C.Vs- only collect them. :)

      "Maybe I'm addicted"

      This place can be like crack, I tell ya.

      Delete
    5. Me again. :)

      "Ehh... How can the "we" in your original statement refer to "you and me baby"? Why would I be seeing my own behavior differently?"

      What I was trying to say is that you and me view the way you behave differently. I was thinking it seemed arrogant and you were thinking it was logical or whatever. That's all. Yes, I used the word baby. Maybe I shouldn't have.

      "You were obviously trying to speak for others here, although now you're backpedaling and trying to deny it, rather than simply owning it, for some reason."

      If you refer to this being a public website, which anyone can read, then yes I was speaking (or writing) for others. It just crossed my mind to point out that perhaps your childish ranting prevented you from seeing any seed of... well anything. You want the honest truth? I've read more of Jonathan's posts and I must admit that perhaps there is no seed of anything except anger and stubbornness to a point of annoyance. So now I am left here in between a childishly ranting someone and an angry fundaMentalist. I guess I'm backpedaling towards the nearest exit.

      "It honestly just made me laugh out loud that someone is so serious about being a worthy contributor to sociopathworld.com"

      I was referring to North, genius."

      I was referring to you when you wrote something about being a 'credible poster as seen by others' or whatever. I admit I got lazy and couldn't be bothered scrolling through the thread to find the actual phrasing. My fault, sorry.


      Delete
  29. It seems some psychopaths and sociopaths are good with words but have no clue what the meaning of any specific phrase is. I wouldn't be surprised if this character actually believes what he says about me. In any case, I've been saved the trouble of defending myself - they've posted all my statements directly for any sane person to evaluate against the accusation.

    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. You wouldn't be surprised if I believe what I said about you?

      Those are *your* words, Jonaid.

      You know I'm a psychopath. You have called me a minion, and a devil-worshipper. You said that Mohammed's ordinance to murder, crucify and/or dismember mischief-makers were written to rid the world of people like me.

      So I ask you again: do you think I deserve to be dismembered, murdered and/or beheaded, as your prophet (upon whom there was never any peace) commands?

      You persist in referring to me as a "he", but I have told you that I am a woman... The president of a charitable non-profit. I was telling the truth, and I can prove it, because I related those things about myself long before you started coming here.

      And yet, it is as though you must INSIST to yourself that I am lying, because I don't fit into any of the boxes your mind INSISTS upon stuffing me in.

      But here I am- very distinctly female- still calling you on you shit. :)

      Could it be that your definition of the TRUE nature of "psychopathy" is wrong, because it is based upon your own personal negative experiences, that you are now attempting to foist upon everyone else, just as we've been telling you all along?

      Could it be that you are wrong about this "divine revelation", too- just as you are mistaken concerning the TRUE nature of the OTHER "divine revelation" to which you cling- Islam?

      If your arguments were so much better, why do you not have the fortitude to address mine directly, without resorting to avoidance and deflection?

      Are you too arrogant to admit that you're wrong?

      Delete
  30. I was on the verge of becoming someone like this many years ago. I was a sophist in the making - my arguments were better for sure and less vulgar but this A character definitely has a higher vocabulary than me.

    I say this because I can understand somewhat where they're coming from - but only somewhat. I did it out of despair and genuine grievances. This one just does it for fun and to feed his ego. It's obvious he sleeps a deep sleep when he gets some applause for his vulgar act here. Still, they'd do amazing if they gave up fakery and became real - don't aim for easy, aim for truth and you'll respect yourself and walk firmly and proud (not arrogant).

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is all so spot on. For the last six years I've had a sociopathic stalker. The lengths he's gone to to try and damage me are amazing. He's manipulated others into willingly helping him and convinced his wife that it is himself who is a stalking victim. He tries to get me arrested for all kinds of stuff and is currently using my identity to harass five other people so it really looks like I'm the stalker.
    I've learned over time that the best way to beat him is to completely ignore him, reckon it eats him up, lol! I make a point of getting on and enjoying my life, achieving things, doing well. It's a great deal more pleasant than worrying about him and his hounds. He's like Wiley Coyote and I'm the Roadrunner, it's become quite amusing to watch his antics as I feel very detatched from them. I love that I turned out to be stronger than him. I'm back out walking in sunshine and he's still trapped in darkness of his own making. Ironic!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Question:

    Since it's obvious JJ believes that 'minions' are unworthy to enter paradise, I'd like to know what 'solution' he has for dealing with the personality disordered while they're here on earth? Besides insisting that their only salvation resides in embracing Islam, that is.

    J.J. -- You once stated in your comments something about how in the near future socios will be forcefully subjected to brain scans, which would identify and thus out them. Then what? FEMA camps? Implants that regulate how they think?

    Once we head down that road it's only a matter of time before the mob demands an-Other sacrifice. Who's next?

    Could be you. Could be me. Could be your family or lover.

    Mr. Hyde

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  34. I do find that personally my resilience and self-control has helped me in life. So many people I've known are driven by emotion, particularly fear. Because I fear so little, I am able to remain calm in all sorts of situations. The only problem I really have is having to feign emotion so I don't stand out. This is particularly true when others are sad or something tragic has happened. When I was young I remember often laughing hysterically at the misfortune of others and being reprimanded for being so inappropriate. I remember finding people crying at funerals to be rather amusing. Eventually, I learned to act how others expect me to. I always find my internal monologue having to direct me, as if I am the actor in a never ending play. It becomes tiresome after a while, when all I really want to do is tell the people around me to stop whining. I find the whole lack of self-control perhaps the most difficult thing to comprehend about empaths, mostly becaue I am able to control my emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi guys, an empath here who is very intrigued by sociopaths since, as you can imagine I truly don't "get it". Since encountering my first sociopath about a year ago, my boss at the time, I have been reading about it, and in particular this site. Incredibly interesting and no shortage of entertainment either.

    Anyway, my question for whoever has the time to answer. Excuse me if its a stupid one, but it's something I've been pondering ever since: how do you get back at, or get even with a sociopath?

    I have a feeling the short answer might be "you don't". I mean, if you don't feel, how can I hurt you. Can I annoy you? Because that would be enough. I'm over it now, but I very much wanted some form of revenge against this guy, some way to get to him, perhaps that was me acting a bit "sociopathic" because I wanted to leave that job with the upper hand. For example, what if I sent an anonymous email to everyone at the company stating he was a sociopath? Like I said, I'm well over it now and would never risk such a thing at this point, but it's an amusing thing to ponder.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  37. Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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