Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Legacy of a Narcissistic Parent

From the title of a recent post on GOOP.com. After telling of some of the difficulties that children of narcissistic parents face and how that affects their development and the behaviors and patterns that those children carry with them into adulthood, the article shares some advice on how to counteract some of those effects now:

First, you have to grieve the loss of the parent you never had. Really grieve the fact that you didn’t get the parent you needed, the one who put you and your needs first. Part of that requires releasing the fantasy that your narcissistic parent can change and eventually give you what you need. They can evolve and grow, but they may never evolve enough to meet your deepest needs. Therefore, managing expectations is key, particularly when you see glimpses of the healthy parent you wish you had had, but in fact those glimpses are often not sustainable. Accept that your parent was limited—and could not give you unconditional love or even deep empathy because she could not get past herself to truly see you. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, the anger and the sadness. Emotion has the word motion in it; allow your emotions to move through you. You might not have lost your parent to death, but you lost what could have been—you lost an opportunity to be truly mothered—and that is really a profound loss. Accepting this, rather than denying it, is the first step in opening your heart to healing.

You are going to need to discover boundaries—where you begin and your parents end—to free your authentic self. When you choose who you want to be, rather than who your parents wanted you to be, you break free from their narcissistic grip. Tolerate their discomfort, even if they make a lot of noise. 

You are not misbehaving, rebelling, or rejecting them. You are being you, the real you—maybe for the first time. This is the first part of breaking the cycle. Next, you don’t want to repeat/generalize the relationship that you had with your narcissistic parent to your coworkers, partner, or friends. Realize where you are meeting the needs of other narcissists in your life, real or imagined. Sometimes children of narcissists assume that every person they’re close to will need the same kind of hyper-attention and appeasement that their parent did—and unconsciously begin doing mental backbends to please others. At times you may be tapping into the expectations of a narcissistic boss or partner, and reflexively playing that familiar role. At other times you may be making erroneous assumptions about what someone important to you really needs—perhaps they don’t want you to mirror their opinions or they don’t need you to sugarcoat your real feelings or soften constructive criticism. Breathe, pause, give yourself some psychic space and then test it. Try just being frank, try not to rush in and take care of their feelings. If being different from your loved one feels uncomfortable—or if you feel you’re risking love with that stance—just notice it. Watch how much stronger your bond is than what you secretly imagined it to be. This is the gift of evolving past the scene of the original crime—your own childhood. Surviving childhood meant taking care of the narcissist and swallowing your feelings. But now as an adult you can begin to surround yourself with people that you feel safe and at home with—like soul mate girlfriends—who know and love the real you, and this can be deeply transformative.

Children of narcissistic parents often wonder if they are really loveable. You are! Start loving and caring for yourself in ways that you wished your mom or dad had loved and cared for you. Start paying attention to what really matters to you; what makes you feel alive and moments when you feel authentically you. Maybe you will need help mothering yourself. Maybe that means getting re-parented by a therapist, or maybe the healing comes from an emotionally reparative romantic partnership. Maybe you have a friend’s mother who is nurturing to you, or a mentor who celebrates the real you. All of these people can become part of your collective parent. No one person is ever capable of meeting all of your needs so start building your collective parenting community. And once you have learned to mother yourself, you will be able to mother your child.

97 comments:

  1. Great advice. Thanks for posting!

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    Replies
    1. Am so happy to share my experience and testimony here about my happy family which suddenly got broken.I am Kimberly Johnson from Ohio,USA.I was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture the man that used to love me before started picking quarrels with me he was so abusive that when i try to tell him the truth about how i feel and what he is doing is not right for the family, he gets very angry and hits me with any thing he sees around him. but i still loved him with all my heart despite all he has done to me and i wanted him back at all cost. then he filled for a divorce my whole life was tearing apart and i didn't know what to do,he moved out of the house and abandoned me and the kids. so a very close friend of mine told me about trying a love spell means to get my husband back she also use Prophet Zulu love spell to get back his divorce husband. And told me they are very much happy with there relationship. and she introduced me to the spell caster,at first i was surprised and scared so i decided to give it a try reluctantly,although i didn't believe in all those things, then when he did the special prayers, i was so surprised, after two days my husband came back and was pleading for my forgiveness, he had realized his mistakes, i just couldn't believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are now one big happy family we use to be. his contact address Zuluspelltemple@gmail.com,zuluspelltemple@hotmail.com his spells is for a better life again. tel:+2348131612153

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    2. Am so happy to share my experience and testimony here about my happy family which suddenly got broken.I am Kimberly Johnson from Ohio,USA.I was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture the man that used to love me before started picking quarrels with me he was so abusive that when i try to tell him the truth about how i feel and what he is doing is not right for the family, he gets very angry and hits me with any thing he sees around him. but i still loved him with all my heart despite all he has done to me and i wanted him back at all cost. then he filled for a divorce my whole life was tearing apart and i didn't know what to do,he moved out of the house and abandoned me and the kids. so a very close friend of mine told me about trying a love spell means to get my husband back she also use Prophet Zulu love spell to get back his divorce husband. And told me they are very much happy with there relationship. and she introduced me to the spell caster,at first i was surprised and scared so i decided to give it a try reluctantly,although i didn't believe in all those things, then when he did the special prayers, i was so surprised, after two days my husband came back and was pleading for my forgiveness, he had realized his mistakes, i just couldn't believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are now one big happy family we use to be. his contact address Zuluspelltemple@gmail.com,zuluspelltemple@hotmail.com his spells is for a better life again. tel:+2348131612153

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    3. Hello
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    4. This is incredible!! I still imagine how Dr Osauyi brought my husband back to me in just 2days. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster that really work. My name is Tamara Helen from United States, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Osauyi, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Dr Osauyi he cast a love spell for me and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me. he is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers of bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, Dr osauyi can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via this email Osauyilovespell@gmail.com Or Osauyilovespell@outlook.com or you can call his cell phone on +2347064294395 web sitehttp://osauyilovespelll.webs.com/

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    5. Today being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love so much, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr dayo for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr dayo how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time because i have missed my lover so much i decided to contact him and share all my problem with him which then he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr dayo so much because i believe he can't fail me but truly Dr dayo never failed me cos a man that stand on his worlds is really a man,my husband who left me for a year plus replied my text and for the first time returned my calls and asked me to please forgive him i was so happy and so grateful to Dr dayo for what he has done for me. if you are there passing through this same problem or of any kinds just contact this great man dayolovespell@gmail.com or call him on +2348149158514

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    6. My name is Monica Johnson Sweden, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.DAYO and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on his email address dayolovespell@gmail.com or call his mobile number+2348149158514

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    7. i am so happy today because of what dr ALLI did for me,my fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him,so for the past three month now in have trying to plead to him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with dr ALLI who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he call me that within 24hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy spell is good when you meet dr ALLI if you need his help contact him allispellhelp1@gmail.com or call +2348149158514 call or email and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem ok my name is Pamela Doris i am from the United state of America

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    8. My Name is Vera Patrick from USA,i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR ADUDU for helping in getting my Ex boyfriend back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR ADUDU he casted a love spell for me and told me to wait for just 24 hours that my Ex boyfriend will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, in 24 hours, my Ex Boyfriend really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me. I am the happiest Woman on earth today because DR ADUDU has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, if you would love to contact DR ADUDU and if you know you are encountering same condition, visit him: draduduspelltemple@gmail.com is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you.he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact email:draduduspelltemple@gmail.com

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    9. spell is not new to anyone who uses the internet frequently More accurately, most of us depend greatly on the internet for information's and ways to fix things.It can be relationship related or finance related or any kind of problem you can think of.So in all words we try everything we read to fix it which might just include spell casting.I know this sounds crazy but believe me spell casting is just as real as any other thing you can think of It just turned out that the internet is flooded with a lot of fake making it is very difficult to separate the "shaft from the wheat" fake from real so here are reason that i think will convince positively about spell casting click the below link http://priestjaja.tumblr.com/ or email jaja12demonspell@gmail.com thanks.

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    10. Have you read so many books on how you can solve any problem in your relationship yet none of the principle you applied seems to be helpful?, here is the solution you need to restore your broken relationship, there is this one man that was able to restore my broken relationship, I have always taught that white are more superior to black in all aspect of life, But this powerful spell caster called Dr.Max of Max Yayan Temple proved to me that intends of spell casting that Africans are the best in terms of casting a spell. That is the reason why i will be recommending the services of Dr.Max of Yayan Temple to all those that have been heartbroken because just through these details: ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) Or call +2347054323588 i was able to contact Dr.Max of Yayan Temple and today i am happy. Email him on ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) or call +2347054323588

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  2. M.E.,

    This is an insightful article on "The Legacy of a Narcissistic Parent." The thoughts on how the cycle manifests, as well as those on counteracting certain aspects and developments of it, can be a good guide for a lot of readers. I also like the following distinction, which further delineates the progression on the spectrum (quite helpful for a child attempting to determine the level of narcissism in a parent):

    "Narcissism runs on a spectrum, from healthy narcissism to malignant narcissism, with a lot of gray in between. Many people can have a narcissistic trait or two without actually being a narcissist.

    HEALTHY NARCISSISM is basically good self-esteem. You believe in yourself and what you can do, and your self-evaluation is realistic. You can empathize with other people, and understand their feelings and perspectives. You aren’t devastated by criticism, mistakes, or failure. Your sense of self can withstand life’s ups and downs and people’s opinions.

    MALIGNANT NARCISSISTS have a very fragile and reactive sense of self. They are extremely self-involved and have a highly inflated view of themselves, which masks profound vulnerability and shame. They are fueled by praise and admiration, and deeply injured by criticism and even honest feedback. Benign comments or constructive criticism threaten their fragile self-esteem and can trigger anger. All of these qualities interfere with a narcissists’ ability to form healthy relationships. Those partnered with narcissists can feel quite lonely and exhausted by trying to shore up their partners and tiptoe around their sensitivities."

    I believe the zenith of the journey that a child of a narcissistic parent embarks on is to love himself/herself.

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  3. "Sometimes children of narcissists assume that every person they’re close to will need the same kind of hyper-attention and appeasement that their parent did — and unconsciously begin doing mental backbends to please others."

    Agreed. And it's an unhealthy pattern, because very few people will have the honesty to tell the child/adult this isn't necessary. I also think this behaviour tends to attract manipulative personalities (of whatever order), with the result that the child/adult has less chance to recognize the interpersonal dynamic as it takes place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you read so many books on how you can solve any problem in your relationship yet none of the principle you applied seems to be helpful?, here is the solution you need to restore your broken relationship, there is this one man that was able to restore my broken relationship, I have always taught that white are more superior to black in all aspect of life, But this powerful spell caster called Dr.Max of Max Yayan Temple proved to me that intends of spell casting that Africans are the best in terms of casting a spell. That is the reason why i will be recommending the services of Dr.Max of Yayan Temple to all those that have been heartbroken because just through these details: ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) Or call +2347054323588 i was able to contact Dr.Max of Yayan Temple and today i am happy. Email him on ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) or call +2347054323588

      Delete
    2. Have you read so many books on how you can solve any problem in your relationship yet none of the principle you applied seems to be helpful?, here is the solution you need to restore your broken relationship, there is this one man that was able to restore my broken relationship, I have always taught that white are more superior to black in all aspect of life, But this powerful spell caster called Dr.Max of Max Yayan Temple proved to me that intends of spell casting that Africans are the best in terms of casting a spell. That is the reason why i will be recommending the services of Dr.Max of Yayan Temple to all those that have been heartbroken because just through these details: ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) Or call +2347054323588 i was able to contact Dr.Max of Yayan Temple and today i am happy. Email him on ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) or call +2347054323588

      Delete

  4. Am here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.
    He cast spells for different purposes like
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dream
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) HIV/AIDS CURE
    (10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery

    Contact him today on: traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous (April 7, at 4:24 AM),

    “Snape is at the core of his charactarisation actually deeply moral - so moral in fact that he would sacrifice his own reputation and life for those he cares for.”

    "Although disguised,
    I know you..."

    Script (from video at the end of this reply):
    “There was more to him than met the eye.
    It's something unnamable
    He lives within very tight confines - emotionally, physically...
    He lives a solitary kind of existence.
    But you always knew there was an agenda; it was a question of what was that agenda going to turn out to be?
    Mysterious.
    He is very focused.
    Eventually, you get to find out who he is.”

    “The entire point of the revelation of his loyalty to Harry and his mother is to spark in the reader an intense feeling of empathy towards the profound suffering that Snape experienced during the course of his life…”

    “Innocence, Lost.
    Resentful.
    Responsibility.”

    “Those commentors who show profound hatred for him are, simply put, emotionally immature. Most well adjusted adults view him as a profoundly morally ambigious character, but fundamentally a moral man.”

    “And what does this word 'Loyalty' mean?
    (Always)
    Brave. To the end.”

    There is a degree of narcissism in him, but it is not malignant. As I wrote the day before yesterday, and as the distinction between the two descriptions convey (healthy vs. malignant narcissism on the spectrum), I strongly believe the zenith of the journey that a child of a narcissistic parent embarks on is to love himself/herself. Also, even though it is a story that we’re witnessing, Snape’s courage is a strength that anchors him to live in reality (to the end).

    As it were, this clip is quite revealing:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i16NigDQ2HA

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  6. Or you could just kill them. THAT is another solution. Like I'd like to kill
    this "Spellcaster" POS who's ruining your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least it's not TEEHEE (don't repeat that - it might be like Beetlejuice) ;)

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    2. Pop Quiz: What do trolls feed on?

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  7. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me..
    My name is Andy Sowers,i live in Australia,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again.
    So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{supremelovespell@gmail.com}.
    So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.
    So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {supremelovespell@gmail.com},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back.
    So thanks to the supremelovespellcaster for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.
    {supremelovespell@gmail.com},
    Thanks...

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  8. Dbt skills in a nutshell. Great post. :)

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  9. I recall being a kid and realizing that my parents were terribly flawed people and that I needed to figure things out for myself. I was ten-ish, I think. I didn't have all the understanding to have been able to explain why they were (rightly) not great parents and roll models - hell, I'm still kicking over new rocks... I just knew they were failing at being parents as far as I could tell and I was pissed about it. (I've mellowed substantially since them... *grin*)

    I've called that process of "rejecting one's parents" as "taking ownership of one's life." Learning to understand them (and "forgive" them - or at least not be angry at them, which is what "forgiveness" means) is very helpful to my process, anyway.

    I think it's possible that this is a natural process that is accelerated "under stress." It makes sense to me that if organisms are being stressed, then shortening the reproductive cycle might have some advantages in some cases. Compressed maturation might make sense if a kid needs to get it together to deal with neglect.

    I think this used to be called "growing up fast or not growing up at all."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "and "forgive" them - or at least not be angry at them, which is what "forgiveness" means...TO ME."

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  10. @A:

    From a previous post (finally had a minute) -

    To hear the stories - dad was a sniper in a revolution and helped dig up and release prisoners from "secret prions." The stories didn't change a whole lot, but I "new" people who were familiar with the revolution were around, the stories would start. Otherwise he wouldn't say much to me about it other than learn to shoot and don't trust governments.

    He couldn't go home for a VERY long time - but he was finally able to get back there and send me too (without too much worry).

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  11. @A (Part II)

    The seduction of normalcy - actually, I think it was more that I misjudged myself. I think it really was more about thinking that I've finally figured out how to "pass" (if you will)...until I didn't.

    Some very stressful situations (multiple) developed and there was, to use the psycho-vernacular, "splitting" on both sides (but I'm far more "pathological" than he is). From my side it was like watching Galloping Girdie Go Down - on the other side I saw her with a look of horror at what she saw when she looked at me. (I'm being vague and metaphorical for the obvious reasons).

    My Soon to be eX (MStbX) talks to her still - I haven't heard the "S/P-path" words...but I also expect MStbX is smart enough to not say anything about those conversations to me. She's dead to me and MStbX does seem to be looking for ways (sometimes misguided) for ways to not bring undue stress into the house.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I hope you are able to work things out in a manner that limits the damage to your family. It must have been quite an epic meltdown- which is understandable given that you were facing your own mortality. One would think your "friend" might have made an effort to more understanding.
      Your dad, in some ways, was probably a lot like mine.

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    2. I'm not sure there's that much damage to be done at this point - I guess one could trash the "Haller name" in our community, but it's not like I've made a point of being a "Pillar of the Community" either - mostly I'm active in the circles that touch my professional life - and "MStbX" would make most of them first ask, "WTF?" and then laugh - it's not like I've collected a bunch of warm, touchy, feely emotional geysers as my inner circle. Many of the people I call "friends" are people that I don't talk to much.

      The kids, I think will be OK. She wants it and so do I - or at least, I think that any problems they will have down the road will be her "fault."...but isn't is like that for everyone? Both sides?

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    3. It always takes two to tango. Problems they may experience as a result of the rupture will obviously be a shared responsibility. And of course, any issues that come up in the future will also be a shared burden. It is all too easy to point the finger. I do it all the time when I don't check myself, lol. And even when I do. :P

      I'm old-fashioned. Except in rare cases, I think it's better to try to work things out- but I understand that sometimes, it just isn't possible.

      I know exactly what you mean about friends you don't talk to much. I always make the conversations about them. They are happy to oblige. :)

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  12. O&W wrote: "Thank you for your frank and descriptive answer. It makes sense. You do have a way with written words. Being with the friend you are describing would be like having ice cream. Being with your husband is like having quinoa, the perfect protein.

    I hope you find such a friend. Then again, if you did, I believe your husband may not appreciate it much, especially if you mix serial thoughts with the friendship."

    Haha! You have no idea how perfect and apt an analogy that is. :)

    While I agree with you in essence, my husband is more like a full-course meal. He meets all of my needs- but he doesn't cater to, or share, all of my tastes. If he only provided quinoa, I'd be lusting after steak and craving dessert.

    I mix sexual thoughts with almost everything. I am a total perv, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I hope you find such a friend. Then again, if you did, I believe your husband may not appreciate it much"

      How absolutely right you are. I can't even say I blame him.

      Delete
    2. Please do explain how the analogy resonates with you! ... now I really feel like I am prying... but I am dying to hear it.

      Also, mixing Sexual thoughts with everything does not make you a perv in my mind, only if you act in them. I am wondering what percentage of the population would be put in jail if we could read their thoughts. And i am not necessarily talking about sociopaths, here...

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    3. Act ON them...

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    4. I don't mind your prying. If I don't want to answer something, I'll just say so, or ignore the question.

      It resonates with me because it makes me think of someone in particular.

      I have acted on some of these impulses in the past, and I have hurt people as a result of my lack of self-restraint. This is one of my biggest weaknesses. (I don't even like saying that. I have no weaknesses~ Lol.)

      If the thought police broke into my mind and exposed what's in there, I'd alienate every single person I know, without exception. But I am sure the same is true for almost anyone.

      Or maybe it's just me. ;)

      Delete
  13. So... Teo... have you deduced yet that I am not an alter ego of HLH, pretending to be a pornographer, posing as a Nigerian spell-casting troll with Tourette's Syndrome? xD

    Now that we've cleared up *your* little misunderstandings, let us address what you purport to be mine, shall we?

    "You are highly misinterpreting me here, since what I truly wanted to understand was the inner workings of your tendency to detach emotionally. In other words, I asked about natural/automatic detachment versus detachment by conscious choice....In my opinion, if it does not come naturally (in your case, it occurs by conscious choice, which, by definition, is not a natural/automatic occurrence), how is it easy?"

    If I have to *guard against* "emotional detachment" to fulfill the needs of the important people in my life (and I prefer the descriptor "overcoming the challenges of weak bonding", a term Haller elucidated the other day)- then it logically follows that my natural tendency is to bond weakly.
    I believe that sociopathy is, from the standpoint of environmental triggers, a deeply rooted, protective defense mechanism through which a child cuts himself off and isolates his core "self" from trauma, triggered by abuse. This results in a more narrow range of affective experience. Layers of scar tissue develop after repeated assaults- and scar tissue is numb. Bonding is difficult in an atmosphere dominated by insecurity and a lack of trust.

    Of course, there are genetic and epigenetic factors at play, too. Multiple guns have to be loaded and cocked, so to speak.

    "There is a marked distinction between intrinsic manifestation as opposed to a rationalized choice. In essence, how does my question to you make me selfish and self-absorbed?"

    For all your advanced vocabulary, you appear to be having a hard time understanding a very basic concept. You prattled on at length about various narcissistic tangents, but you did not address the core issue. It makes you selfish and self-absorbed because you can't even seem to imagine a world in which you strive to adjust aspects of your "nature" and character for the benefit of others. Certain core elements of your self may never change, but they can be deliberately channeled in ways that limit their ability to do harm.

    You are under the pervasive illusion that you are quite perfect, just as you are- and your demeanor becomes haughty and self-righteous the moment someone calls your self-constructed and self-focused reality into question. For you are all about honouring your *self*. I would imagine that you rapidly cut off anyone who calls this into question, or makes demands that would require you to stretch the very rigid boundaries you have set in your life, which you mischaracterize as "self-respect", but which only serve to pen you in, justify your inhibitions, and mask a deep insecurity with the appearance of strength. That is why you come across as painfully uptight and rigid.

    You even state explicitly that you will never change. How can you grow like that?

    You, my dear, are a textbook narcissist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A,

      As I just wrote in the post "It Could Happen to You," (your comments as Anonymous=A in connection to M.E.) your thinking/analytical discernment about me in this post is erroneous. In relation to the comments about M.E. in "It Could Happen to You," you might attempt to express yourself as others do, but your thinking is incongruous with their views/opinions (i.e., my views as opposed to your views about M.E. differ).

      Delete
    2. To A (and everyone else),

      If I choose to comment, my comments will always be as Teo (i.e., they will never be as Anonymous).

      Delete
  14. I suggest you suckle at the nearest breast. Preferably one that provides chocolate milk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stinky old man, I suggest you chow down your own shit, preferably while is still warm.

      Delete
    2. @Anon... Ha! You should identify yourself, American Sniper. :P

      @Sunshine... So.... Does chocolate milk come from chocolate milfs? Bear in mind, your response will determine whether you are both senile *and* flaccid- or just flaccid. xD

      You think yourself so sublime, Teo... But in your efforts to sound cultured, you just sound contrived.

      Delete
    3. A,

      "@Sunshine... So.... Does chocolate milk come from chocolate milfs? Bear in mind, your response will determine whether you are both senile *and* flaccid- or just flaccid. xD

      You think yourself so sublime, Teo... But in your efforts to sound cultured, you just sound contrived."

      I do not make any extra efforts. That is who I am. My sounding contrived, together with your false analysis of my character in other comments, amounts to your flaccid misconstructions.

      Indeed, your brain sounds like a flaccid organ, A.

      Delete
  15. On the subject of narcissism and children of narcissists, I just took an online test that said I had "strong indicators" of NPD and suggested I go see a psychiatrist. I will be seriously pissed off at myself if I have allowed myself to 'inherit' those personality traits from my father - I tried so hard not to be him.

    It also said "It is unusual for NPD personality types to seek therapy, as they unconsciously fear exposure or inadequacy and will usually disdain therapeutic processes or the idea of psychotherapy itself, sabotage the therapeutic process or openly oppose it.
    Pharmacotherapy is rarely effective."

    So I'm kinda damned if I do and damned if I don't. Luckily I don't give a damn (sorry, couldn't resist that joke). But maybe my interest in psychology and brain function will save me.

    The test also scored me rather highly in "other relevant traits" for ASPD/PPD. That's two separate tests now which gave me high scores there. Hmmm. No help was given for that - the advice was to look in the website's Papers section, which then said those papers were only on the German website (the website author being German) and my German isn't good enough for me to be confident of understanding.

    A said:
    "Certain core elements of your self may never change, but they can be deliberately channeled in ways that limit their ability to do harm."
    And I agree. Perhaps that is all any of us (as in human beings across the spectrum) can really aim to achieve.
    To quote a well-known poem
    "I am the master of my fate,
    I am the captain of my soul."
    (Which also sounds a bit narcissistic, but the point being the will not to be bound by circumstance/heritage.)

    NB I don't think I will ever "love myself". Why would I love myself? I can *accept* myself; I can focus on my positive qualities, work on safely dealing with my negative qualities. But loving myself seems... somewhat pointless. Not beating myself up over an online test might be as close as I ever get ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At one point I also shuddered at the thought that I'd be anything like my father, but I turned out more like him than anyone. After a little "Well, this is just great. Something really is wrong with me, and it just *had* to be what afflicted the likes of Ted fucking Bundy" phase, I just accepted it. Now I try to work with it. But sometimes I wish I had never become self-aware, because it is all too easy to embrace these traits, as opposed to fighting them. I am now trying to find a balance... Holding fast to what is good, and seeking to modify the rest. I haven't been particularly successful in this endeavor.

      I once took the PPI index, which is a reliable diagnostic indicator of psychopathy, and I scored very high on all the subscales. My startle reflex doesn't even work properly- which I later found out results from of an underactive amygdala, which is also associated with psychopathy. (It was like an "aha" moment, of sorts.) I know I have a lot of narc and sociopathic traits, and that inherited them from my father. I don't need a test to confirm it. :P

      It is what it is. Just make the best of the cards you've been dealt.

      Delete
    2. Both of my parents were "on our spectrum," and I'm fairly sure my step dad was as well. Since I don't need any glue, I won't beat any dead horses tonight.

      That said, as a young man, I disliked my father, so I tried to be not like him - I was even thrilled when mom remarried someone I thought was a better roll model for me (and someone I wanted to be around more than my father). My step dad did a world of "good" in pointing me in the right direction - in many ways.

      After spending years thinking and studying and observing on how I can do better than my dad did, I slowly came to see how similar we are. Not much can be done about that. Maybe I can do better by my son - that's the focus for me.

      I want my son to be less like me than I am like my father - I'm hopeful that I'm off to a good start.

      My daughter is trickier - I'm still trying to "understand" our relationship and how I can be the best dad to her...there be dragons!

      Delete
    3. I'm taking the positive view: it was my strong sense of self that allowed me to break free of his manipulations. The "other relevant traits" might be linked to my 'off switch' development. I'm just going to keep a sharp eye on myself to make sure I don't manipulate others. The temper thing isn't an issue at the moment anyway.

      Well, A, I often do silly things when I'm bored ;) The result of the test certainly surprised me. I was once told that my sense of humour was a strong positive factor - I think the same would be said of you, from what I've read on this blog. I also think you have the strong will necessary to be an effective self-watchman.

      HLH, I was lucky - my father only did the emotional manipulation. Ironically, I found out last weekend that it was the other side of the family where physical abuse manifested. But not for my generation. My mother was strong enough to put a halt to it. The fact that you are aware and looking out for your children bodes well :)

      Delete
    4. A , HL, you both made reference to your fathers. I'm realizing I'm like my father as well. In one way I embrace the positive aspects of it - in other ways it's a little bit catastrophic. Keep me on my toes. ;)

      SD "it was my strong sense of self that allowed me to break free of his manipulations."

      I like how you viewed that. I here so much how cluster b have no self or flexible self.... but sometimes I feel like I have a strong sense of self to me.
      I believe it takes one to know one (to tap into the cluster b mind to break it's spell..... you almost gotta be one and keep battling the thoughts of your mind to make it fall into perspective. I do fall into bpd traits - lower end spectrum - and I see through other borderlines alot of the time -- specially when their in their destructive mode and splitting phase. Maybe it's because I know this mode myself and i try not to feed it and look introspectively as to why I feel I must split and dice up. I observe, notice and don't feed it anymore. I let the urge pass over. Grey mind lens is a must for me because if I feed into black and white thinking I will eventually fall on my ass quickly and deceive myself. I'm not judging anyone - I just know what a room full of bpds eventually do to each other. Without proper observational and critical skills of oneself... how can one break out of its rut themselves... bpds deflect & project in destructive mode. It's everyone else's fault. I feel like shaking some and saying " own up to your shit, like I had to do myself." Tolerate the distress... The yuk yuk feeling and grow tough skin. But when I think like that.... I've said it to myself many times... it's what keeps me more balance believe it or not. ;)

      Then there's a huge positive side to the disorder........long story to touch on. but I'm finished my bath time to get out. ;)

      Delete
    5. Superchick said: "I like how you viewed that. I hear so much how cluster b have no self or flexible self.... but sometimes I feel like I have a strong sense of self to me.?"

      I know *exactly* what you mean. I have pondered the juxtaposition of my strong will, vis-a- vis the chameleonesque way in which I can adapt to virtually any environment, authentically relate to parts of it, and reflect the values, means of expression, and habits of its people. I am very good at absorbing and integrating new facets within my personality as I encounter them in others, reflecting them, and ultimately wielding them on a meta-level, so as to exert control and mastery within my environment, whether it be within an orgy, or an organization. Muah ha ha. ;)

      (Tbh, the orgy is just wishful thinking. Lol.)

      I contend that this is not a weak sense of self, so much as it is a flexible, adaptable one. It is important to remember that the terms "flexible" and "strong" are not mutually exclusive.

      A strong will is required to adapt to a given environment and exhibit leadership efficaciously towards the achievement of one's personal goals- whether they consist of overcoming personal struggles, or taking over a Fortune 500 Company.

      When I was a kid, I was literally rejected by every single one of my peers. From Kindergarten to sixth grade, I was like a cross between Hermione Granger and a ten year old Uptight. I knew *everything*; it's no wonder my classmates didn't like me. My father was a bloody beserker. I was surrounded by constant, incessant aggression, and my only defense mechanism in the face of repeated verbal, physical and emotional assaults was arrogance.

      By the time I graduated from high school, I was queen fucking bitch. I didn't let anyone mess with me. Physically, I was offputtingly aggressive for a girl. I got into fights with store clerks and bus drivers if they so much as looked at me askance. Intellectually, I was verbally intimidating and trenchant in my ability to strip people of their egos and cut them down.

      In a nutshell, I quickly learn to absorb and wickedly wield every weapon and manipulative strategy that is used against me, in a game of emotional jujitsu in which I will eventually kick your ass. And it will feel *GREAT*.

      I have found the combination of intellectual dominance and verbal aggression particularly efficacious. :)

      Lol.

      The "yuk yuk feeling and grow tough skin" that you refer to characterized my childhood. But rather than the "splitting" you reference as part of your bpd, my strategy was to wrest control of those external "attacks" internally, and leverage them to my advantage within my environment, through absorption, reflection, and mastery via manipulative strategies.

      This is the sociopathic defense mechanism. Nature provides the genes. Karma and nuture promote the environment. It is a vicious cycle; a generational curse- and a real bitch of one to contend with.

      Delete
    6. A, thanks for sharing that part of yourself. I really enjoy listening to how you've come along through life's journeys.... ups and downs. You've persevered through lots of hurdles and I have nothing but respect for that. You're real and say it how it is. You're definitely my cup of tea !

      And now i must go plant another 108 plants for the green house. Garden work yay. Kids don't seem to want to help too much this year. Just dring around those dam quads that give me a headache Grrr. ;)

      Delete
    7. And that sounds like my cup of tea. Quads. Are. Awesome! :)

      I also enjoy gardening. Admittedly, I don't have much of a green thumb (I suspect I'm too inconsistent in my growing techniques), but I try anyway. Heirloom tomatoes and natural black flowers are my favorites. You?

      Delete
  16. Goop, that's Gwynnie's website isn't it. Wonder if she has or had a narcissistic parent?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just saw a vid of "you" on Dr. Phil and you come across as a scam artist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dr. Phils a scam artist.

      Delete
    2. Dr. Phil was ignorant towards her. He believes sociopaths are just locked up in jail and in the system. Which some are - and many aren't. From what i remember he seemed to portray a superior attitude towards her and disregard her views. It wasn't fair game.

      Delete
    3. He did what he does: take the low road. It's designed to titillate (the concept of the episode) and the payoff is seeing the "hero" make it right for the audience. Really, he was the blatant user and bully in this case - not that he audience cares about hypocrisy or any of that.

      Remember, we're the "bad guys."

      Delete
    4. Exactly HL. Well said.

      Delete
    5. Notwithstanding anything Dr. Phil said, she came off as a scammer, and looking for attention.

      Delete
    6. She tried explaining her sociopathy she was diagnosed with by a reputable doctor - I don't understand why you would think that's attention seeking. But again its how you perceived it.

      Delete
    7. Going on the Dr. Phil show with a ridiculous wig and selling your book is attention seeking. I guess we can agree to disagree. And now I'm off to less reptilian waters.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous (6:57 PM),

    Your thinking is fallacious.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You know you'd pay a king's ransom to put your arms around her.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ginger makes my tummy feel betterApril 10, 2015 at 8:46 PM

    Allo

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't separate from them in my mind. My personality is moulded around their traits and I keep dating more psychopaths because they understand me and bring me out of the dark, only to put me back there. I adore them because they are so unique but then I am hurt again, only to find the whole charade was fake. I don't get it!
    Everything in my life that had meaning has no meaning for them.
    Th sonly survival pathway for me is distance because I need to experience life with emotion for the first time at 30 years old.
    It's really hard for me to abandon my tendency toward loyalty which is so strong, and being there for them and loving them. I keep expecting the impossible and then doubting everything in the world.
    I dont know how I will heal. I saw a healer and she was a psychopath too. There was a big piece missing where she should have connected with my distress.
    What can I do? I don't want to be influenced by a single one more. That's enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear friend, Sorry to hear about your bad experience with that bad healer, you should have just contacted me. But … Since you sound very sick and have made a few other desperate comments under various other names, I’ll help you right now. Oh wait a second…telepathically I heard someone has pulled the trigger on a few borderlines there with a very “shitty” comment … Nooo, I see you were stalking this person-she 's not a psychopath- everywhere offline and online for too long, and were trying desperately to control, or even destroy her… You sound sick, very sick. In fact, super sick. Take your medication and leave others alone. I hope, "I connected with your distress" appropriately. If not just contact me at : emergency@forsupersicksindanger.com

      Delete
  22. How I Get My Husband Back With The Help Of Dr Brave

    Hello everyone, My name is Mary-Owen, a citizen of USA; am 42 years of age..we got married for more than 11 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Brave for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Brave casted on him that make him come back to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Brave for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Brave ,if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: bravespellcaster@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/ and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My father is narcissistic. I was his favoured child, his very best billboard. Which is as much as to say I was the most codependent.

    No one can keep up with my father.

    I won't labour the details other than to say I was fertile ground for the most charming of seductive sociopaths.

    That whole affair woke me the fuck up. I like referring to this gentleman (with whom I still work) as our Friendly Neighbourhood Psychopath (FNP).

    He gave me the red pill stuffed inside a Koko Black chocolate. Delicious. He set me free in the Matrix while everyone else dreams. I see the world in an utterly different way now; in which society is a context rather than a constraint; that rules are mere control; that morality is instinctive, a social adaptation to keep us cooperating and not excluded from our place by the campfire; that we are merely organisms in a perennial competition for resources. All that PLUS neurotypicals *are* wired for connection. And we dwindle when we don't get it (hence all the weeping socios cause). You know, I really didn't know this last point.

    I crave the FNP 'cause his games and his sex hit some dopamine high notes. Not to mention his beauty and intelligence. His intelligence and thrill seeking are - surprise, surprise - reminiscent of my father's.

    Yet not even the FNP could keep pace with my narcissistic father (the food chain, the food chain, oh that is a story!) No one can. And I wonder if the rhythms my father set as the cadence of my life can ever be changed.

    All this stuff about love - I learnt many things from the FNP and the best thing I learned was self-sufficiency. By this I mean integration, living in accordance with your own nature. An adult should be able to look after their own emotional needs and for a neurotypical, this involves thriving in community. Socios must live in community too and it is a tension for them.

    We all have our struggles. I take my lessons from running head on into life and to be frank, it's the best way to change. Emotional and novel experiences provide fertile ground for remodelling the brain.

    I keep a vision of being integrated, adventurous and thriving... but those games, baby, are better than sex (and that's saying something!) Dear me, perhaps I still have some lessons to learn the hard way (counts down to next meeting in T - 10d while we are both obliged by the court to refrain from contacting the other)

    Yeah, so that's my struggle. I do want a companion. And it's better to be honest about that lest the FNP play his pipe again to that tune.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh freak, what a coincidence - you made that post on my father's birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Getting my Ex back

    my name is Andrew Wheeler from England i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell,me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my best friend,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,during my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on getting to the man i discovered he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to do with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog having similar problem visit okokospellcaster@gmail.com ..i am sure he will help you.and you can call him on this number +27846257323

    ReplyDelete
  26. My lover dumped me for another woman, and i was divorce by my husband with my two son after 8 years of marriage, and also i really love him, so i contacted Doctor Ekpiku for a love spell to get my Husband back, to my greatest surprise he cast a love binding spell to get him back for me and my lover came back after 48 hours. i will advice you anyone looking for any kind of spell should contact Doctor Ekpiku via email address: Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. I want to give thanks to my Doctor and i will always give thanks to DR Owede who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get my Man back to my life because i love Him with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to DR Owede and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive, him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address owedeudohtemple@yahoo.com THANK YOU DOCTOR

    ReplyDelete
  28. Am so happy to share my experience and testimony here about my happy family which suddenly got broken.I am Kimberly Johnson from Ohio,USA.I was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture the man that used to love me before started picking quarrels with me he was so abusive that when i try to tell him the truth about how i feel and what he is doing is not right for the family, he gets very angry and hits me with any thing he sees around him. but i still loved him with all my heart despite all he has done to me and i wanted him back at all cost. then he filled for a divorce my whole life was tearing apart and i didn't know what to do,he moved out of the house and abandoned me and the kids. so a very close friend of mine told me about trying a love spell means to get my husband back she also use Prophet Zulu love spell to get back his divorce husband. And told me they are very much happy with there relationship. and she introduced me to the spell caster,at first i was surprised and scared so i decided to give it a try reluctantly,although i didn't believe in all those things, then when he did the special prayers, i was so surprised, after two days my husband came back and was pleading for my forgiveness, he had realized his mistakes, i just couldn't believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are now one big happy family we use to be. his contact address Zuluspelltemple@gmail.com,zuluspelltemple@hotmail.com his spells is for a better life again. tel:+2348131612153

    ReplyDelete
  29. i want to start by saying that i never believed i could get my ex back after the way he left me but through the help of this great man am proud to say my ex is back after five good years i dont have much to say all i can say right now is thank you drzizi for making me happy again and for restoring my home if you find yourself in this kind of situation or worst you can contact this great man through his email@drzizitemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. BEWARE OF THESE SCAMS, not all spell caster are real they just take away my 2000us dollars just like that with out any help!!! DR odinaka IS THE ONLY and real SPELL CASTER TO TRUST!( odinakaspiritualtemple@gmail.com) will be of great help to you.
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    contact him he will help you in any problem you tike off:

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    contact him now and your problem will be solved: [odinakaspiritualtemple@gmail.com]

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hello
    My name is Katie Morgan, and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me in bring back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like DOCTOR CANDOVA this world would be a better place, I have seen people complaining on how fake spell castes promised to help them but couldn't but with DOCTOR CANDOVA I tell you your problem is solved already. My Husband and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about a spell caster call DOCTOR CANDOVA and how great his work is. I contacted him immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my ex lover called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found DOCTOR CANDOVA, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours. DOCTOR CANDOVA contact is CANDOVALOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM or you can call him on +2347030393888 you are the next to share your testimony to every one

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is incredible!! I still imagine how Dr Osauyi brought my husband back to me in just 2days. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster that really work. My name is Tamara Helen from United States, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Osauyi, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Dr Osauyi he cast a love spell for me and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me. he is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers of bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, Dr osauyi can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via this email Osauyilovespell@gmail.com Or Osauyilovespell@outlook.com or you can call his cell phone on +2347064294395 web sitehttp://osauyilovespelll.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  33. Today being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love so much, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr dayo for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr dayo how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time because i have missed my lover so much i decided to contact him and share all my problem with him which then he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr dayo so much because i believe he can't fail me but truly Dr dayo never failed me cos a man that stand on his worlds is really a man,my husband who left me for a year plus replied my text and for the first time returned my calls and asked me to please forgive him i was so happy and so grateful to Dr dayo for what he has done for me. if you are there passing through this same problem or of any kinds just contact this great man dayolovespell@gmail.com or call him on +2348149158514

    ReplyDelete
  34. Today being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love so much, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr dayo for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr dayo how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time because i have missed my lover so much i decided to contact him and share all my problem with him which then he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr dayo so much because i believe he can't fail me but truly Dr dayo never failed me cos a man that stand on his worlds is really a man,my husband who left me for a year plus replied my text and for the first time returned my calls and asked me to please forgive him i was so happy and so grateful to Dr dayo for what he has done for me. if you are there passing through this same problem or of any kinds just contact this great man dayolovespell@gmail.com or call him on +2348149158514

    ReplyDelete






  35. my name is rodriguez i want to testify about a
    great spell caster that help me cast a spell
    that bring my wife back to me without
    any delay. I broke up with my wife with
    just little misunderstanding hoping we will
    get back shortly,but things was growing
    worse until i contacted Dr zulu who help
    me with his historical powers to bring her
    back, without charging me any money for
    his work, i have never believed in a spell
    caster until i come across Dr zulu it will be
    of great sin if i should go out from here
    without dropping the contact of this great
    spell caster,in case you need the help of this
    great spell caster you can contact him
    through his email: once you contact him all
    your problems will be over,once again i say
    very big thanks to you sir for helping me to
    recover my wife back, and please sir
    keep your good work because people need
    your help and in their lives.once more contact him on his email:drzulusspiritual@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. My name is Monica Johnson Sweden, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.DAYO and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on his email address dayolovespell@gmail.com or call his mobile number+2348149158514

    ReplyDelete
  37. My name is Ryan Gernat, I really want to testify to the good work of Dr. Shekiri for what he has done for me. couple of years ago, my wife left home after we had little misunderstanding, she never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails and no sign of her anywhere and at the same time My daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, i met a psychic, he said he would help me, i give him a try but all to no nothing happened, i lost hope completely, my daughter’s situation got worse each day. Last month, i saw a post concerning the good works of the Spiritual professional (Dr. Shekiri) i told the great man my problem and he told me that there is nothing to be worry about for me contacting him all my problem is solve. He asked me to provide the spiritual materials needed to cast the spells and of cost which i did (Bring Lover back, Healing spell and Career spells) In a matter of days, my wife called me and told me she was sorry and that she wants to come back to me and that she would explain everything when she comes back, three days later, i got a call from a company for a new job which i apple for with an Real Estate company, right now, my daughter’s is finally healed. I want to thanks DR. Shekiri,for what he has done for me and my family. You can contact him via email: drshekirispellhome@gmail.com he is the solution to all problem i no you are going to be the next to share your testimony to people you can call the great man on his good work you can call him on his mobile number: +2348058260257....

    ReplyDelete



  38. I am Vanella Jones i lives in united states and i was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us. I cry all day, Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to dr osasuyi , and i contacted him and tell him my problems how i lost my relationship with my lover. at first i thought it was not going to be possible.i was ask to come up with a little requirement information of me and my boyfriend,so i did what i was ask to do, after 24Hours the spell was cast i was in my office when clark called me and was asking me to forgive him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me. my boyfriend is now back and he treat me well. and our relationship is now stronger ask ever before. if you are out there looking for help is time for you to still put your hope on dr osasuyi love spell, i promise you that you will be happy with your boyfriend again email him. drosasuyi@gmail.com or you can also call him with this number +2347053161101.

    ReplyDelete
  39. i am so happy today because of what dr ALLI did for me,my fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him,so for the past three month now in have trying to plead to him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with dr ALLI who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he call me that within 24hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy spell is good when you meet dr ALLI if you need his help contact him allispellhelp1@gmail.com or call +2348149158514 call or email and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem ok my name is Pamela Doris i am from the United state of America

    ReplyDelete
  40. Getting my Ex back my name is Alicia Justin. from, UK, I've known brown Moore for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2013 In June of 2014, my husband and i recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn't eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I'm so depressed and stressed out that I'm scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me driayaryi2012@hotmail.com that he will solve my relationship problem then Dr Iyaryi told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that DR Iyaryi , help me bring brown Moore back to me. Thanks so much( Dr Iyaryi) his email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com

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  41. My Name is Vera Patrick from USA,i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR ADUDU for helping in getting my Ex boyfriend back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR ADUDU he casted a love spell for me and told me to wait for just 24 hours that my Ex boyfriend will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, in 24 hours, my Ex Boyfriend really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me. I am the happiest Woman on earth today because DR ADUDU has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, if you would love to contact DR ADUDU and if you know you are encountering same condition, visit him: draduduspelltemple@gmail.com is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you.he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact email:draduduspelltemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  42. My Name is Vera Patrick from USA,i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR ADUDU for helping in getting my Ex boyfriend back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR ADUDU he casted a love spell for me and told me to wait for just 24 hours that my Ex boyfriend will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, in 24 hours, my Ex Boyfriend really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me. I am the happiest Woman on earth today because DR ADUDU has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, if you would love to contact DR ADUDU and if you know you are encountering same condition, visit him: draduduspelltemple@gmail.com is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you.he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact email:draduduspelltemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  43. CONTACT THE GREAT SPELL CASTER WHO HELP ME BRING BACK MY DEAR HUSBAND, WHO HAS LEFT ME OVER 6 MONTHS, THANKS TO DR. SHEKIRI WHO CASTER A SPELL THAT BRING BACK MY LOVE AND HEAL MY LOVELY DAUGHTER OF HER ILLNESS NOW WE ARE ALL HAPPY AND PEACEFUL FAMILY NOW. YOU CAN CONTACT HIM ON HIS EMAIL ADDRESS drshekirispellhome@gmail.com or call +2348058260257..

    ReplyDelete
  44. I never use to believe in spell casting until i met Dr Oga a powerful spell caster who helped me to be a happy person again. My name is Rose James and i reside in USA. After 4 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids. I felt like my life was about to end and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a Great spell caster called Dr Oga which i met online on one fateful day when I was browsing through the internet, i came across a lot of testimonies about this particular Great spell caster how he has helped so many people. he has helped people to bring back their Ex lover, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, and so on. I also came across a testimony, it was about a woman called Anita, she testified about how his spell made her to be pregnant after so many years of bareness and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Oga's email address. After reading all these, i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and explained my problem to him and he assured me that in less than 48 hours, my husband will call me and beg for forgiveness but i thought it will not work. When he had finished casting the spell, the next day my husband called me and he was begging for forgiveness just as Dr Oga said. This is not brain washing and after the spell has been cast, i realized that my husband love me like never before and the spell caster opened him up to know how much i love him and how much love we need to share. We are even happier now than before. Dr oga is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and a genuine spell caster to solve all your problems contact Dr Oga now on Drogaperfectspells@yahoo.com or just visit Drogaperfectspells.blogspot.com and see so many he has helped that are testifying about his good work. He will help you solve all your problems. Once again thank you Dr Oga for your good deeds.

    ReplyDelete
  45. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called dr clement and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast a powerful spell on my ex and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm, My ex called me, surprisingly, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me back to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody that has a relationship problem, he we be a help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email:drakugbespellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any kind of problem, thank you once again dr for bring my husband back to me .I can never stop talking about you sir you can email him for your own help his email is drakugbespellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hello! everyone out here,I am James William from Portland Oregon United state.It has been my desire to help people out with their problems no matter how little my contribution may be.

    As regards to the promise i made to BABA ARUOSA if he could help me get back my girlfriend,i'm using this means to fulfill my promise and also let everybody know there's solution to your problem no matter how difficult you think it is okay.

    I loved a girl for more than 2 years and she told me she was going to marry me.But she would change her mind and tell me she didn't love me anymore and was seeing a guy,which i found out.I begged her to accept me and also tried every means possible to make her know i can't live without her because i really love her but she would pay deaf ears to me.

    We were working in the same company and each time i see her,i wish all this weren't happening.This pain continued till a friend of mine led me to BABA ARUOSA whom he told me was very extremely powerful and has helped with a problem.

    Soon as i contacted him,i knew he was the exact answer to my solution because i felt his powers from his carefully selected words and calmness.I explain all that happened to me and he told me what to do.I did as i was instructed and never doubted him.To my greatest surprise what i felt was almost impossible within the twinkle of an eyes was over.

    She called me pleading for my forgiveness for how she has treated me and that she loves me so much and will never cheat on me again and will marry me.And from that moment till now all we've been experiencing is happiness in our relationship.We'll be getting married soon........lol

    I would advice anyone with problem to contact him via email : templeofsupernaturalcontact@gmail.com for his help.

    ReplyDelete
  47. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called dr clement and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast a powerful spell on my ex and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm, My ex called me, surprisingly, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me back to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody that has a relationship problem, he we be a help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email:drakugbespellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any kind of problem, thank you once again dr for bring my husband back to me .I can never stop talking about you sir you can email him for your own help his email is drakugbespellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  48. I want to use this golden medium to appreciate Dr.Bola a great spell caster for helping me retrieving back my relationship with my ex boyfriend when he ended and turned back on me for quite a long time now.I embarked on a search online for a solution to my problem because i love him so much that i will not let anyone to take him out of my life,luckily for me i met dr Bola who performed a spell for me and within 48 hours after the spell had been cast I receive a text from my ex saying that he is sorry for the pains and tears that he had caused me and that he will not do such thing to me again in his life. I was surprised but later accepted him back again. Anyone that is in the same line of problem or different one that want to contact a spell caster should happily email him: drbolaspellcaster@hotmail.com or Call him through his mobile number +2348059723809,I am so happy Using this post to say a big thank you and to also encourage people to contact Dr.Bola for help his email:drbolaspellcaster@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  49. After being in relationship with morgan for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drbhabumenrespellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything .I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL: drbhabumenrespellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  50. Have you read so many books on how you can solve any problem in your relationship yet none of the principle you applied seems to be helpful?, here is the solution you need to restore your broken relationship, there is this one man that was able to restore my broken relationship, I have always taught that white are more superior to black in all aspect of life, But this powerful spell caster called Dr.Max of Max Yayan Temple proved to me that intends of spell casting that Africans are the best in terms of casting a spell. That is the reason why i will be recommending the services of Dr.Max of Yayan Temple to all those that have been heartbroken because just through these details: ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) Or call +2347054323588 i was able to contact Dr.Max of Yayan Temple and today i am happy. Email him on ( drmaxyayanspellcaster@gmail.com ) or call +2347054323588

    ReplyDelete
  51. For me After God its dr atidi of love temple He has been given powers and choosen by God to liberate us all. when my husband abandoned me and our only child everything changed. i was lifeless . people used my predicament as an opportunity to penetrate me. i was drained of all my life savings and i almost lost hope until i met dr atidi at the last minute. my meeting dr atidi was a miracle and till today i bless that day because i almost lost all hope.
    my husband who i had done everything possible to bring back suddenly came back home 48 hours after i met dr atidi
    using this post to thank dr atidi also know as the american wonder thank for your help and i will also share his contact so that others can also benefit like i did. contact him on the following.
    atidispelltemple@gmail.com
    Tel: +2348063930531
    Evelyn Sydney from Australia

    ReplyDelete

  52. My ex-boy dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing another woman and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me.He changed his line,block me from sending him email and facebook.I was so confuse and don't know what to do. So I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimonies of how this powerful spell caster help them to get their ex back. So I contact the spell caster whose name is Dr Shiva and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise the Second day my ex came knocking at my door and ask me to forgive him.I am so happy that my love is back again. Once again thank you Dr Shiva,you are truly talented and gifted. Email: reunitingexspell@yahoo.com . He is the only answer to your problems.He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me andpeople are still talking about him on the Internet. REUNITINGEXSPELL@YAHOO.COM

    ReplyDelete
  53. I was diagnosed of HERPES over 3years, I have tried all possible means to get cure but all my effort did not work for me, until a friend of mine introduced me to a herbal doctor from west Africa, who prepare herbal medicine to cure all kind of diseases including hepatitis b virus HERPES (HBV), CANCER.( HIV) ALS Hepatitis B/C, when i contacted this herbal doctor via his email, he sent me HERPES herbal medicine via courier service, when i received the herbal medicine he gave me step by step instructions on how to apply it, when i applied it as instructed i was totally cured from the virus within few weeks of usage.my God will Bless you .i will continue sharing this testimonies in everywhere across the world, Contact this great herbal doctor via his email,drofureharbalcurehome@gmail.com.....

    ReplyDelete

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