Sunday, December 16, 2012

Moonstruck and cages

This is not really that topical, but I was watching the film Moonstruck on the plane. There are two pieces of dialogue I had forgotten about. The one-handed Nicholas Cage character explains to Cher how he lost his hand:

                         It's wood. It's fake. Five years ago
                         I was engaged to be married. Johnny
                         came in here, he ordered bread from
                         me. I put it in the slicer and I
                         talked with him and my hand got caught
                         cause I wasn't paying attention. The
                         slicer chewed off my hand. It's funny
                         'cause - when my fiancĂ© saw that I
                         was maimed, she left me for another

                         That's the bad blood between you and

                         That's it.

                         But that wasn't Johnny's fault.

                         I don't care! I ain't no freakin
                         monument to justice! I lost my hand,
                         I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand,
                         Johnny has his bride! You come in
                         here and you want me to put away my
                         heartbreak and forget?

Later she tells him what she thinks of him:

                         The big part of you has no words and
                         it's-a wolf. This woman was a trap
                         for you. She caught you and you could
                         not get away.
                              (She grabs his wooden
                         So you chewed off your foot! That
                         was the price you had to pay to be
                              (throws his hand down)
                         Johnny had nothing to do with it.
                         You did what you had to do, between
                         you and you, and I know I'm right, I
                         don't care what you say. And now
                         you're afraid because you found out
                         the big part of you is a wolf that
                         has the courage to bite off its own
                         hand to save itself from the trap of
                         the wrong love. That's why there has
                         been no woman since that wrong woman.
                         You are scared to death what the
                         wolf will do if you make that mistake

Later he tells her what's up with her life:

                         And what do you know? You tell me my 
                         life? I'll tell you yours. I'm a 
                         wolf? You run to the wolf in me, 
                         that don't make you no lamb! You're 
                         gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna 
                         sell your life short? Playing it 
                         safe is just about the most dangerous 
                         thing a woman like you could do. You 
                         waited for the right man the first 
                         time, why didn't you wait for the 
                         right man again?

I thought this was such an interesting concept -- "playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do." I sometimes feel this way when I think about things that might be considered "playing it safe," like planning on being in a job for longer than three years, being in a committed relationship, otherwise locking myself into something, caging myself in or allowing myself to be caged. I realize it is actually a dangerous thing for a person like me to do. I realize that I probably won't be able to stay locked up like that forever and that when I finally try to extricate myself, there may be significant damage to myself and others.  

It reminds me of the letter Amelia Earhart wrote to her husband George Putnam before they wed: "I may have to keep some place where I can go to be myself, now and then, for I cannot guarantee to endure at all times the confinement of even an attractive cage." And commenting on her own capriciousness in a letter to a friend, "I don't want anything, all the time." So true.


  1. Stupid fucking article.

    And I am first.

    1. I love the article. Maybe, you don't understand it, Genius ~

  2. I like the article and therefore consider your comment obsolete, which makes me first.
    Especially provocative is Earhart's cage comment. I find myself doing all sorts of madness to avoid a cage even if it's filled with all my favorite treats and the door seems wide open. I want multiple exits.

  3. M.E. with clever Cage-iness. Hee hee

  4. found an interesting blog surfing the web, tell me what you think

    1. i only read the first page. did not browse. It is a combination of a depressed person, a realist, and A curmudgeon. For a young person, the writer sounds like an old man. But the person is not ashamed. The person accepts their self no matter how "negative" and alone.

      I like the section about creating. This was the uplifting portion.

      What do you think of it, Rembrant?

  5. Good Morning Rich! Did your cat come home?

    1. Hey Monica!!!! Nope, Midnight hasnt come home, yet.

      I really think she knew she was dying and ran off to die :(

      But if it was her time, than I guess she knows what is best for herself.

      I just kinda wanted to have her put down peacefully at the vet with a large amount of narcotics.... Cause its weird not the have that "closure" of knowing if your cat is dead or alive somewhere.......

      She may still come back, but I doubt it at this point :(

      Thank you for asking :)

    2. i am sorry, rich.

    3. I am sorry Rich. When I lost my dog, whom I loved so much, it was really hard.

  6. Great post. Very easy to relate to if one is in love with freedom.

    My first reaction was that you don't need to be a wolf to appreciate it, but hard to use the sheep analogy for the freedom-loving non-wolf. Sheep needs to stay with the herd, you don't see it running away from the herd, seeking freedom. Brings back the book title Escape from Freedom.

  7. For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.
    Nelson Mendela

    1. Hm.
      So here freedom as a result means to accept others, to live and let live.

      Quiet acceptance while others run around wreaking havoc.

      Nope, I may seem a bit of a control freak, but that simply won't do.

  8. Hall of Fame Themes

    Theme for Rich The Uber Empath

    1. LMAO!!!!! Hilarious song/Video!!!! Thanks Themes, I needed that laugh today!!!

      PS- I like those guys shirts at the beginning of the video LOL

    2. Rich, you make It so easy. You are a Shining Star!!

    3. Awww, thank you Themes!!!! You are a very nice and sweet person!

      PS- I LOVE Postmodern Sociopath's song! LOL

      Here is a song that I suggest for TNP-

      LMAO!!!!!! It fits him PERFECTLY!!!!


  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

  10. Rich, may I ask you something?

    Because of your addictions, did you ever go through a phase where you felt you did not know who you were?

    People who are/were alcoholics for a long time say they do not know who they are. They only start to get to know themselves when they get dry.

  11. "playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do."

    I think i break a lot of hearts trying to play it safe. I think I want to because i need a home to put my head. But if I cannot prove my reliability long term then I am not to be trusted.

    This is the terrible thing you were talking about yesterday, Rich. I am the bpd /you gave reframing advice to yesterday. I understand that people should go into things with their eyes open, like knowing of my condition.

    But if i tell, the ones I will attract are the ones who will not give ME stability. I must lie to keep myself safe from disaster or I must relax into losing all the time. I am tired of losing.

  12. AnonymousDecember 16, 2012 5:22 PM
    .. I must lie to keep myself safe from disaster or I must relax into losing all the time. I am tired of losing.


    aspieDecember 16, 2012 5:31 PM
    You are very dramatic.

    1. *taking simultaneous bows*

  13. Monica had a piece of windshield material size glass in between both sides of her. The good side could be shown in public. Why not? It was a social creature. The bad side was messy, such that her house was filled with disorder like a cat lady, minus the cats. The one item that was laid out in pristine condition, shined and tended to was her set of weapons. Weapons, you ask? Are you surprised? You should be, I suppose. Powerlessness does not come from a willing giving up of power. It is taken by force. There is a raper and a rapee, but sometimes, one becomes the other like a watercolor that goes out of the lines. You violate someone at your own peril because people have been known to rise from the dead and you might not want to be there when that happens.

  14. On the other hand, there are complex mechanisms to insure the survival of the individual and these include the concept of pushing your shit down so far that you can't find it. The little bastard does not want to stay put, so he makes you do things like throw yourself at people, imbibe everything to fucking excess or, otherwise, make your life into an absolute mess, so that if you had 100 years you could not clean it up. Maybe, you could get so clean and tidy that you actually did kill the little bastard. However, when you looked back from your peak of triumph, you would see that you had killed yourself in the process, like some twist of fate, that seems to magically happen to those of us with plate glass windows smack dab in the middle of ourselves.

    1. How about some more of yesterday's role-playing style and less about your issues.

    2. What do you mean, Anon? I take suggestions ~

    3. That role-playing style of the room without doors, and the spoon... that puzzly-type of situation was pretty entertaining.

    4. I don't know what you mean by "role playing" Anon

    5. You're basically placing the reader in a situation, its immersive, that's why you should stop putting a face on it.

      Monica this Monica that.

      Go google it or something if you still don't understand.

    6. wow thats heavy!

  15. Got it. Great suggestion. I will use it. I value your feedback so much. I am learning and learning from you all!

  16. How is this?

    There is a place you go where it is silent like you would imagine the deepest sea, the places you see in National Geographic, with undersea divers. You emit a scream, but it is soundless, too. That is why you can scream from now until you die and no one will hear, most of all, yourself.

  17. Death is not when they put you in the ground, in your coffin, pine box or Cadillac model with blue satin interior. Death is when your psychic twin walked away, while you were alive. It made it known that it did not stay in Harlem or some slum ghetto in Chicago or Detroit. If you wanted to go slumming, it was leaving and it did. You were like a conch shell. The wind could blow through you and you could hear it's sound. You could blow through the shell, itself, and it would echo. It was your echo that you heard in the distance, but you thought it was the winds. You couldn't tell the difference, at that point.

    1. Yeah. This is the shit when you write like this, Sofa. This more abstract, metaphorical or figurative stuff is great. Not that I don't appreciate the SW character driven stuff too. But I really like it when you get abstract and whimsical with it.

    2. that was amazing, sofa. It was beautiful and haunting
      and i did feel in the text, swept up. How do you do that?

  18. Thank you Anon and Ellicit
    I wanted to ask what you liked but was afraid no one would answer lol. When I show you my heart, and you respond, I come out of my prison. The prison is being alone in a place where no one can ever understand me and I must hide because no one ever will.
    You give me the courage to go deep and when I do and you understand what I am trying to say, the pain goes away.

    1. Yeah. There was a brief mention of alienation on the new blog post. It seems to be a common theme. I know it in myself in some respects. I can see how the interaction through writing removes some of those barriers on both sides. Meaning that I can see you feeling less alienated through it, and I feel less alienated from you (whoever you are) as you write more.

  19. Maybe, when people get to the soul level, more superficial barriers are broken.

    1. sofa, Raven, do you think that the soul should lie??

      I am mixed up and i feel terrible like i do not have a soul yet to share. I am going to try talking to someone I want to be close to about my being detached. I do not want to alienate people. I do not want it to seem I am not there. I am there.

      I cannot express anything from my soul but pain. It is turned inward too much. My pain tank seems to keep on refueling.

      But My soul can't be so bad, so empty. I can read others. I know how to make them feel good. I just cannot do it for myself. It isn't fair.

      Does anyone here understand me? Does anyone feel what I feel?

      If you are there, Raven, i know you also have detachment. Please tell me encouragement.

    2. Let me see if I can describe what you are saying, Anon and you tell me if I am right. You flow into water. You feel an awful sense that you are,as the water, are flowing away, into the abyss, or somewhere where you will disintegrate into molecules and then just air, nothingness. You try to grab the edges to make yourself solid, so that you won't seep down through the pores of the sidewalk. All the while you hate yourself for being such a spineless pussy.

    3. I wanted to add something, Anon. Don't throw your pearls before swine.I have offered my tender heart to so many people who stepped on it, with glee. Be careful who you choose <3

    4. I keep thinking of your comment, Anon. I want to tell you what writing, on here, has done for me, in terms of finding my soul.
      On here, you are not going to get BS. If something stinks, you will know. If it is good, you will know, both from generous people like LA, Raven, Ellicit and various Anons, but, also, because no one attacks you. If it stinks, you will get attacked and fast, usually.
      However, more than that, in the process of forcing myself to share as deeply as I am able, I see that I do have a discrete soul and that it is enough like that of other people that I am in the human race i.e I am not different, bad and have to hide. This is becoming part of my real life in that I am getting stronger and more confident.

      A person has to find that soul, if there was bad abuse because it got pushed down so far that it feels to be nonexistent. However, for me, this writing, here, has brought me in touch with my own soul, more than I have been since the time I got disassociated. The big reason is that SW is a BS free zone. When you lose touch with your soul, you can get fooled easily. You can't trust many people because many people have agendas and they want to use you.

      The weird safety of this place is it's raw honesty. If you were badly abused, most people lied to you, so they could use you.Your own family lied to you, so they could use you. You can't trust motives.

  20. Replies
    1. Theme for Anon 8:51
      With Love from Themes. Hang in there, Baby!

    2. x thank you, themes. I needed that <3

  21. Themes for SW RegularsDecember 20, 2012 at 5:31 AM

    You are welcome, Anon. I know how much a word of comfort means to me xx


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