I have thought for a long time that I am probably a sociopath. I am good at picking up on what people want from me and becoming that person, which makes me very popular. I have mastered the art of being liked. I'm a pretty girl and have always easily found men, been married twice, and left both husbands after a few years because I was bored. Although I'm good at painting myself as the sympathetic party. The ironic thing is that I'm a social worker, and work with distressed families, people always ask me if it breaks my heart, or assume that I love "helping people", and I usually go with this. I actually enjoy the fact more that my job takes me into scary situations, threatened violence or poverty-stricken crime-filled areas, and allows me to intimidate people. Sometimes people suggest that I should be able to carry a weapon, and I always say it is not necessary and make up some liberal bullshit about not wanting to carry a weapon (the truth is I love to shoot). I don't feel like I need a weapon ever, I feel totally confident in my ability to control almost any situation. Whew. It's nice to be so honest with someone. I probably sound like a narcissist, but I'm just trying to tell you the truth about who I am and my situation as quickly as possible.I actually have no clue. I've never been in a relationship with another sociopath. Anyone else have any insight?
All of this to say, that within the last year I met a man who I'm positive is a Sociopath too. In fact we talked about it once, and he admitted to me that he wonders if he is. (I of course did not admit anything to him! The part I play with him is the slightly dumb but intensely caring and unable to lie enabler.) He did say that he has never had anyone see through him like that. I have never had any legal trouble, and he has been caught several times, for stealing essentially. It kind of makes me think I'm smarter than him. BUT I really do like this person, and not in the half-hearted way I liked my husbands. I am sure that it is his manipulation of me that has caught my interest, and an intense desire to WIN him. He has a girlfriend, in fact, now a fiance. He has been cheating on her the entire time he was been with her, with me. He lies to her about all kinds of things constantly because he wants to preserve her image of him as more normal than he is. (He told me he feels like if anyone knew the real him they would think he was a monster) I became OBSESSED with him. Although at times where I felt like he was into me not as much so. But the moment he pulls away I want to devour him and possess his soul.
Is it possible, do you think, for two sociopaths to have a relationship? Or will it be this constant fight for control? I feel in many ways like a relationship with him might become the most honest relationship I've ever had with someone, I've told him this, but he doesn't know what I am so he doesn't understand it. Or maybe doesn't want it. Do I really have feelings for him do you think? Or is this something that would disappear if I ever won him? I feel like he is the only man I've ever met who may hold my interest because of his own fearlessness and risk taking behavior. Wow. I'm sorry to ramble on like this, but I'm very interested in your perception of the situation. What do you think, is it possible for two sociopaths to find love with each other? Or will we just ruin each other in the end?
Monday, June 13, 2011
Can sociopaths date other sociopaths?
A reader asks: