Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Empath's Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means

I love this, from an anonymous reader:
The Empath's Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really Means

1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.

2. I'm sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.

3. I'd do anything for you: I'd do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be

4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* ... It's just a body. See you later when you aren't being an emotional train-wreck.

5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven't had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.

6. I love my family: They're mine.

7. That's simply shocking: You've touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now...

8. Deep down, I feel I'm a good person: I'm not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?

9. I'm not a monster, I'm a human too: I'm trying to seem human, give me a break. It's not like this is particularly natural for me.
Does anyone have a number 10?

89 comments:

  1. Heh, mostly. I like #6.

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  2. Hahahaha! This is great :)

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  3. This is fantastic!
    I am going to frame it!

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  5. 10. Why don't you just admit it. You like me. You like me because I tell you the truth I want you to hear. Don't fight it.

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  7. That's a good one, aspie. :)


    Maybe we can rephrase it:

    I am just being honest: Hurting your feelings by saying the truth sometimes amuses me.


    Here's another one:

    I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.

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  8. The last one could be:

    I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when things don't go my way.

    or:

    I have feelings too: [..fill in blanks..] make me feel excited.

    or simply:

    I have feelings too: I often feel frustrated and sometimes I get really angry and lose my temper.

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  9. Ah yes, Arianne, good one also...

    I wouldn't lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn't lie to you!


    Another idea:

    I understand how you feel: I don't understand your feelings, but I know them, I know them very well!


    Guys, we're becoming quite an expert on sociopaths, don't you think? Surely we're way past the point of being immune to any sociopath, lol. We'll NEVER get taken! Hehe...

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  10. what man do you know under the age of thirty, that doesnt cheat?

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  11. I respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because they're what makes you easy for me to manipulate.

    .....

    Damn, that one was not nice! And obviously I don't mean it, but hey, it's supposed to be "brutally real", n'est-ce pas? ...

    (...said Zhawq covering his back on the way out.)

    - Ah, what the hell, think what you like!

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  12. Correction:

    I respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.

    I can't quite get the wording right. English is my second language, and it shows.

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  13. Zhawq you nailed it!!!!!
    For a min I thought you were a socio.
    For a minute there I was having flashbacks to my ex.

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  14. 10. I hate bullies: they are such tactless amateurs.

    Or

    10. Ok, I think you make a good point: I'll have to include that consideration in my calculated persona that should lead to your complete destruction.

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  15. 10. I like you: Please always be exactly where I need you to be when I need you for any given reason; don't bother me at any other time.

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  16. Aspie, today I like you better than I do myself. Consider it an honor.

    I'll be guilty twice for posting this one though.

    10. Don't ever blame me, NOTHING is my fault! ((and I'll explain why in the light which I've learned you understand best which will easily stretch to include you as guilty and disable you long enough to rebuild you...))

    : "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way". (Or forced to draw myself that way and I don't like it anymore, I'm outta here soon.)

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  17. 10. Don't ever blame me, NOTHING is my fault! ((and I'll explain why in the light which I've learned you understand best which will easily stretch to include you as guilty and disable you long enough to rebuild you...))


    That one made me shudder!

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  18. Ammy:

    So you'd agree that item is pretty significant to be left out of the top 10?

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  19. I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished!

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  20. 10. I will never let you know that I'm a Freemason or a socialist, because then you'll know my big secret — that I'm a paedophile!

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  23. Aw Medusa, you're not really a socialist are you?

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  24. Lol, Medusa. Well played.

    what man do you know under the age of thirty, that doesnt cheat?

    I've never cheated, Anon, despite being a male under 30. I've certainly facilitated other people's cheating, but I've never done it, myself.

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  25. PMS. Why not?

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  26. I've just never done it. I don't really see the point. What's there to gain?

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  27. Hats off to you PM. I would explain it as I have never "wanted" to cheat, or wanted enough to consider the cost/loss. Naturally I have been cheated on.

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  28. i loved anon's at 7.29.

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  29. Nothing to gain I suppose, It's just a bit more interesting. I've only ever cheated once though.

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  30. @Medusa you and Birddick are hilarious when you don't understand sarcasm!!!

    @Anon yes, that statement sums it up.

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  31. Ammy, you spelled Daniel's last name incorrectly.

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  32. lol - these lists could be bullet points summarizing my relationship with a sociopath. I'm glad I can laugh at it now!
    - Jayne

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  33. Best post thus far.

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  34. Yes, I know I did. It's his favorite thing to do.
    @Jayne, that's exactly how I feel. Nice to laugh about it but not very much fun while in a relationship with one.

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  35. #10. I'm thinking of getting my teaching credential (or joining the priesthood): I don't have the financial resources to build another "Neverland" to attract the kiddies.

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  36. What a trenchant commentary on the state of the world, Anon.~

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  37. Daniel BirdickOct 28, 2010 01:17 PM

    Awww, my little Spammy, Whammy, Hammy!!! You know you luv it when Big Birdick plays with your… name.

    ;-)

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  38. what do you lot think about those 'compensating' sociopaths who 'turn' to religion. surely it's antithetical to your obsession with all things logical?
    i mean, by doing so, you are hardly helping to eradicate fantastical dogmatic belief?

    you spurn those who do, and then pretend to do it yourself. or is that just part of the game? in which case, i see you as no better nor more interesting than 'normals.'

    B

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  39. #10. They had it coming: No, really. They had it coming.

    #10. What's wrong?: There's people around. Stop crying.

    I've never seen a point in not cheating. I mean, I've never been caught so there's really nothing holding me back.

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  40. I've never seen a point in not cheating. I mean, I've never been caught so there's really nothing holding me back.

    I still don't get it. What do you gain? What's the benefit? It seems like an unnecessary drama vector. Not to mention that maintaining two lovers necessitates nearly doubled expenditure of resources (tangible and intangible) for very little extra payoff, if any.

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  41. If the person you're cheating with understands that you're only using them, it's really easy. There's very little work or time involved.

    The payoffs? Well, sex obviously. Often they're huge masochists (or become huge masochists) so there's that benefit. My current pet is basically addicted to me so he buys me things. That's a new benefit but I'm not complaining. He knows he's just temporary.

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  42. Daniel BirdickOct 28, 2010 02:12 PM

    PoMo, I’m guessing it has to do with the thrill. I agree with you about the drama thing. I wouldn’t prefer it myself, but I can see how someone else can get hooked on duping delight and on the ‘excitement’ that would come with carrying on an illicit relationship. Or manipulating someone into betraying their professed values, like being monogamous for instance.

    And as kanin said, can't forget the most obvious, sex.

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  43. Sex with one person gets boring quickly. If anything, it helps keep my actual relationships longer.

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  44. kanin: Meh. Whatever works for you, I guess. Doesn't seem worth the effort, to me. If sex and presents are all you need, good on you. Neither hold anything but a vanishing interest for me... I think I'd get bored too fast to make it worthwhile. I prefer the long game, anyway. So many more pieces, so many more moves... thrilling.

    Daniel: I figured as much. I was just curious about their reasoning. It comes down to differing sources of excitement, it seems. The people I've been with have been more than dramatic enough... I don't think I need the hassle of two for a bit of extra sex.

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  45. PostMod, for now it's all I need. I'm sure it'll change eventually.

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  46. It wouldn't be any fun if it didn't. :D

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  47. I too understand what's easy and the concept of little-to-no effort, but I confess I am turned off almost completely when effort need not be applied. At least to a certain extent. Obviously I have my exceptions and I will agree with the bonuses that came from people who required humiliation as well as tinkering with their facade.

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  49. When it comes to actual relationships, I am more than willing to work for them and play. But temporary stuff, I'd rather not waste time.

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  50. #10. You're beautiful/smart/amazing/hilarious/etc.: I know that this is exactly what you want to hear so I'm going to make it really convincing and you're going to eat it up.

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  51. #10. You're beautiful/smart/amazing/hilarious/etc.:
    I know I am, but what are you? Jealous?

    I know that this is exactly what you want to hear so I'm going to make it really convincing and you're going to eat it up.

    You think that is what I want to here, and you will get pissed off when I laugh at you for been such a try hard. lol

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  52. 10. I really want us to work: For today.

    Grace

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  53. Post,

    So you don't cheat because it's a hassle. That's a good reason though. What do you mean by the long game?

    Grace

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  54. The long game being the usual manipulation of the people I know, but on a larger scale. It's less predictable, but it's more interesting. I like the feeling of being tested that it gives me.

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  55. I'll always be there for you: I want favors.

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  56. Had to cut the original #8 from the top 10 list, just didn't flow with the rest. All of your #10's are greatly amusing :)

    I think a proper #10 belongs to anon @ 4:10. Although it is not necessarily insincere, it's spot on, and works damn well.

    @Postmodern Sociopath: On Cheating

    I... don't cheat, per se. I guess this has a lot to do with my general asexuality. I indulge upon seduction, and am a constant unobtrusive, charming flirt. I like to make women think that I'm interested in them both for looks and conversation, tone, body language, et cetera, but virtually never pursue it past this point, playing the shy guy. It actually kills several birds with one mother of a stone.

    1. Seduction without Sex: No money lost, no drama, no baggage
    2. Added sexual tension (on their part) when dealing with me
    3. Possibilities of near-instant flings if I feel like it down the road.
    4. Charm Practice (super important)
    5. Reduced chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease

    When it comes to the bedroom, I'm a master of foreplay. I can literally go on for hours. I like to hear them beg to have intercourse with me (and they often do), and this often frustrates women that I actually decide to have a relationship with. The act of sex is not terribly enticing or enjoyable for me. I'm either stuck with a partner that only wants the orgasm, or contrarily, cannot (~10-15% of them) and therefore, I derive about as much pleasure as a wank, except taking 30 minutes to an hour+. There's no emotional bond, no getting lost in the moment, no, whatever the hell it is empaths seem to really enjoy.

    I understand the thrill of cheating, but, I consider it an unnecessary risk that conflicts with my overly rational and seemingly pragmatic view on life. I, of course, have things that conflict with this, but sex, namely cheating, is not one of them.

    I've actually been cheated on once before, and my general lack of reaction irritated the hell out of my partner. I think she told me to try and get some sort of passive-aggressive pleasure from it, in hindsight. When I watched the episode of Dexter where he finds out about Rita and the neighbor, I had a good chuckle. It was fairly similar.

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  57. #10. Let me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.

    W.R.

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  58. Let me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.

    Reminds me of foreplay...lol

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  59. 10. Even my bullshit tolerance has it's limits. Therefore:

    11. When it stops being fun, I disappear.

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  60. I'm bored: I'm bored.

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  61. I'm bored: I'm bored.

    Correction:

    I'm bored: I'M BORED

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  62. TookMom2DaPromOct 29, 2010 07:34 AM

    Thanks ME for the blog and also to whoever came up with this little piece of gold. Had a good chuckle as my kind-of-sociopathic ex just told me that "she loves me and would do anything for me.." heheh...

    10. I did not mean for things to end this way: Catch you on the flipside....

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  63. M.R. said...
    #10. Let me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.

    Hah! This one speaks to me. Here is a variation...

    10. Thank you: Don't help me, just get the hell out of my way.

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  64. And that last one is for Microsoft and their stupid new spam filter.

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  65. 10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this....boredom.

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  66. @Zoe

    "10. Thank you: Don't help me, just get the hell out of my way."

    People fail lol. This is great.

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  67. Agreed with W.R. and Zoe. I definitely operate this way. Total control freak. Though I try to be nice and patient with people, it's not always so easy.

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  69. TheNotablePath said...
    There's no emotional bond, no getting lost in the moment, no, whatever the hell it is empaths seem to really enjoy.

    path, you have to disengage mentally to be in the moment. try a couple of drinks first.

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  70. 10. Yes, I'm sure: Fuck off. :)

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  71. Anonymous said...
    10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this....boredom.

    Revision:

    10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this: I'm broke and need a place to crash.

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  72. Drinks don't help. Tried it already. Even when I'm drunk/high, I have a ridiculous amount of self-awareness and the calculating and analyzing never goes away.

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  73. Number 10

    "OMG my new boyfriend is amazing!"

    "I'm so happy for you."

    ("I will slit your wrists for you once he drops you like all the others. :)")

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  74. "I have a ridiculous amount of self-awareness and the calculating and analyzing never goes away."

    I feel for you Notable. That's how I feel when I smoke pot. Luckily, it's easily solved by my not smoking pot.

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  75. has cookies might work better.... body stone.

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  76. Zoe said...
    "has cookies might work better.... body stone."

    Zoe, who were you responding to?

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  77. I think she meant hash cookies. So probably you.

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  78. Oh, Hash. Yeah, I've smoked Hash and Hash Oil laced pot a number of times; just gives me more intense paranoia.

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  79. lol, yes i meant hash. you have to eat it to get the body stone. more relaxing than mind stone.

    actually meant you, post.

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  80. My body doesn't seem to react to stimulants very well, in general. Pot is boring and makes me feel helpless, booze makes me feel useless, inhalants make me feel stupid, yet just smart enough to realize I'm being stupid to the point of infuriation, and cigarettes don't chill me out very much and give me intense jitters.

    I like feeling good with some help, but I don't think I could be a slave to any of them, even if I wanted to.

    I think, I'll just stick with smokes/booze. They're cheap, everywhere, and legal.

    Still doesn't help the whole sex deal, though. Is it bad that this really doesn't bother me? I think I'm omre bothered that you're bothered, frankly.

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  81. You're the only one who doesn't bore me: You're the only one who ran away before I destroyed you.

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  83. I hear that, Aerianne.

    I'm bored.

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  84. Medusa said, "I'm bored." and I hear that.

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  85. TheNotablePath said...
    Still doesn't help the whole sex deal, though. Is it bad that this really doesn't bother me? I think I'm omre bothered that you're bothered, frankly.

    i'm not at all bothered. i thought you were bothered.

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  86. It'll be ok: you need to build up your emotional strength for my next strike

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  87. 10. Let's cuddle!: I don't want you to be able to see my face so I can stop crinkling my eyes when I look at you and I can drop the fake slight smile that I know makes you think that I'm enjoying our time together.

    -J

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  88. #10
    I am a sociopath: I read websites about sociopaths, and am drawn by their dark 'power', but in reality I just like to hide the fact that I am a normal boring dolt who enjoys painting my internet self bigger than I really am.

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  89. Thanks a lot for the info. It's nice to know what Sociopath really means.

    buy viagra

    ReplyDelete

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