I discovered why/when i get the urge to seduce. There are two necessary elements for me: (1) the target is susceptible to seduction, and (2) the target has power over me. If those two requirements are met, I will nearly always feel the urge to seduce. If just one of those elements is present, I might think about it once or twice, but the seduction never holds my interest.Perhaps this is somewhat related: I think I also discovered why someone might rape (I didn't rape anyone, just a dream). The lure of rape is fuzzier to me than the lure of seduction, but there is also an issue of power. The victim is actively rejecting you. The act of rape negates this rejection, denies the victim even that small control over you.
The downside to rape, though, is that the focus is all on the rejection. In fact, rejection is necessary for rape -- if there was no element of rejection, there would be no reason or opportunity to rape. To be a habitual rapist then, you would have to either be rejected all the time (real rejection), or be so insecure and paranoid to think that people would reject you all the time (perceived rejection). Neither way sounds appealing, or even easy to accomplish. Do habitual rapists seek out rejection or provoke it, just to create the opportunity? I'm much too narcissistic to be courting rejection all the time like that. I don't see why anyone else would do it either unless they had a masochistic streak. In any case, I would never do it myself, it's black magic. But now I can sort of see why others do.
lol. what is with the doctor doolittle picture?
ReplyDelete(my word verification was JOGGER...wtf?)
Yep. Rape is all about power, and has very little to do with sex.
ReplyDeleteI'll never look at Jerry Lewis in same way again..
ReplyDeleteGrace
it's an act of violence committed by the insecure. does that sound like you???
ReplyDeleteThat rape is about power rather than sex is not exactly news. However, it is interesting that one would have to be predisposed to seduction in order to catch your attention. I would think that the possibility of being granted the unattainable would fit into seduction as a sort of foil to rape. If one is already willing to give you want you want, what seduction is there? Is not seduction a powerplay as well?
ReplyDeleteIf one is already willing to give you want you want, what seduction is there? Is not seduction a powerplay as well?
ReplyDeletethere are different kinds of power. rape involves forcing someone to do something against their will. seduction doesn't.
i can be seduced by the right window display into spending my money. :)
Yes Zoe, but in order for that to work, you would have to be willing to spend money on the product already. Or perhaps that is just me? To me, a successful seduction would be winning over someone who is in all ways set against it. Or, put another way, the person who can enjoy the window display without making the purchase. That's when the clerk comes in casually suggesting how flattering this piece would look on you.
ReplyDeleteyou may be right, c. but can someone who is in all ways set against seduction be susceptible to it? maybe a part of me wants to make the purchase?
ReplyDeletei fought with a guy at work for months until one day with one look he turned it around. on some level i had to have been attracted to him while we were fighting, but i wasn't aware of it at the time.
is it possible to be won over by someone if there is nothing about them at all that appeals to you? the only way i see that working is if they were to consciously change in some way that makes them appealing.
Once said: Rape is all about power, and has very little to do with sex.
ReplyDeleteSex is all about power.
Rape is all about economics (which is also all about power).
Rape is all about economics and has 'everything' to do with sex.
Perhaps you are right, Zoe. But that brings about the question of if you can want something without consciously recognizing it.
ReplyDeleteyes. he was married and i wasn't interested. consciously i was neutral, and i think i pushed back or blocked off the feelings of attraction to the point that i wasn't aware that i had them.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I wonder if it really is possible. I've always believed that to want something, you would first need to recognize what about you/your life could be improved and then how the object in question could fufill you. I've heard others disagree but they were unable to describe to me how the process works for them.
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