Sunday, February 7, 2010

Lifetime learner

I sometimes post favorite comments (sometimes not, if it is hard to reduce it to a quotable quote), but there were two in particular that I have been thinking about recently. One was from a reader who said that he observes his own behavior in order to interpret his emotions. I found that to be very interesting, and very true of my life too. When I was in secondary school I got very/acutely sick for a while. To me life felt normal, apart from dealing with pain and other physical symptoms of being sick, but after about two weeks my friends all stopped talking to me. I got better, but they still stayed away. I didn't know what to make of it. Since then I have realized that when I am sick or otherwise not feeling well, I can be very mean, short-tempered, even irrational without knowing I am doing it. Now when people start acting offended around me or I otherwise struggle to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships, I often (correctly) assume that I am sick. The same applies for a lot of my other "feelings," particularly negative ones. Frequently I am unaware of them until I find myself engaging in some irrational behavior or another (always my red flag). Only then do I stop what I am doing and take time to reassess what's really going on in my world.

Another commenter (aspie?) remarked on the definition of love, saying that he believed love is basically gratitude. Coming from an aspie, I thought this was hilarious because I don't think any neurotypical would describe love that way. It is, however, exactly the sort of thing that someone would say who has never experienced love the way a neurotypical would. Yes, little aspie, to the sociopath as well love feels a lot like gratitude and loyalty.

31 comments:

  1. lol (your writing suggests another commenter)

    I said if I had to put it in one word, that is the word that I would use. Love or any emotion or even any word is far more "complex" than any one word can fully describe, and even ten thousand words can not really do it. It is a lot more than just gratitude, and even the word to me implies a lot more than just having a feeling.
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  2. Aspie...na.. na ..na ..na....naaaa!

    Now look who is the psycho! lol

    Tink :p
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  3. According to one doctor, the defining trait of psycopaths/sociopaths is that they don't feel guilt. If I didn't, then I would be one.

    Got guilt tink :)
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  4. Oh lighten up Aspie...why so serious? Hey you got a shout out lol
    As the old saying goes, don't throw stones if you live in a glass house.

    Tink :)
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  5. ME loves picking on AssPies.
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  6. Thanks for the advice.
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  7. I have never done anything to feel guilty about, im a good girl :)

    Tink.
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  8. I'm pretty sure you're a naughty girl, Tink. But a naughty girl pretending to be a good girl is really hot, so keep it up. You need to get one of those schoolgirl outfits.
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  9. as likely she's a middleaged fat hairy-assed bald guy pretending to be a naughty girl pretending to be a good girl wearing schoolgirl kit
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  10. LOL that made me laugh.

    Tink :)
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  11. I don't mind. I have a vivid imagination. Give us some pretty imagery, Tink!
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  12. Lol, i like your vivid imagination, its funny, my kind of humour. Well as my nickname suggests,...small and petite, and very quiet when i need to be. See, typical, good girl material. :)

    Tink.
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  13. Hard to get rid of the quote showing an empath's jealousy, eh?

    Lesson: If you want to be on the front page, you have to suck up!
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  14. Jealous much, pansy???
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  15. This is an interesting article:

    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/11/10/081110fa_fact_seabrook?currentPage=all
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  16. Gosh, that guy in the picture looks like such an asshole...
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  17. it’s expansive. describing love as gratitude leaves room where other words don’t. there is space for it to be more than the word.

    i like it.
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  18. Yeah, actually. I totally think M.E. should have put John and the bunnies in his featured comments. I mean seriously, what the fuck?
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  19. I also just noticed that M.E. has started calling his superpowers a sickness. What's wrong with you, man? You have special talents. You're super awesome, with lots of power, you're not sick and irrational.

    So fucking emo.
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  20. I agree the word grateful is expansive. It suggests so many things to me.... like humility, no strings attached, an appreciation for it's existence however brief or long and a recognition that it can be gone like that... no owning, no manipulation, it sounds loving. Grateful for what? For a lot.
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  21. It also sounds joyful and has a present (being in the present) vibe to it to as well.
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  22. An interesting link:

    http://darkworkers.com/2008/12/polarization-and-polarity/
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  23. http://darkworkers.com/2008/05/the-path-of-the-darkworker/

    He warns that one could become sociopathic...heh.
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  24. It also sounds joyful and has a present (being in the present) vibe to it to as well.

    it does. it sounds freeing. love is freedom.
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  25. love is so broad because it is relative to each person. love means something different to everyone. i am not sure i have ever truly loved anyone. i know i need people for certain things and i will be affectionate and caring because that is what keeps them around me and sometimes it's a struggle to keep up with it. recently, i have wondered what it would be like to be truly in love... you know have that seemingly blissful feeling. you have seen those people. i once was told if you take action that your emotions adapt to whatever it is that you are doing but i have never been able to overcome the boredom. i guess the emotions never came. it's like going to a concert to see your favorite band. you suffer through listening to all the other bands trying to enjoy yourself waiting for your favorite group to get on the stage and they just never take the mic yet for some reason you don't ever leave either... every minute expecting something more ...something different but it never changes. the only way to get what you need is to be the very definition of insane. it is exhausting when i think about all the work i do to keep my head above the crowd. it is tiresome..... have you ever felt like just letting every facade go? i have ... trouble is i can't stop or maybe i don't want to... i don't know. maybe i don't want to let go more than i want to but if i could would i be able to be able to experience what everyone else gets too... like love? that blissful rose covered happiness... it actually is kind of ridiculous when i think about it. damn... being reflective... i think i am going to go.... do ... something now.
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  26. lol, that's such a shallow depiction
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  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na_7O9J0tHY&feature=related
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  28. have you ever felt like just letting every facade go? i have ... trouble is i can't stop or maybe i don't want to... i don't know. maybe i don't want to let go more than i want to but if i could would i be able to be able to experience what everyone else gets too... like love? that blissful rose covered happiness... it actually is kind of ridiculous when i think about it.

    not at all. but i think the melting, butterflies in your stomach, letting go kind of love is just love sickness, and it can be a bitch.

    the blissful rose covered happiness love is the real thing, when you’re still together holding hands at eighty.
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  29. Gosh, that guy in the picture looks like such an asshole...

    i dunno he's kinda cute..
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